Not Like Crazy.

It's physically exhausting to constantly put 100% into things, only to receive 50% in return.
I'm not really a "go through the motions" type of girl. When I'm in, I'm all in.
So when it comes to the love thing, I'm usually left in a state of bafflement. 
I'd like to think that I'm pretty low-maintenance. 
Attention (as needed).
Space (as needed).
These are the things that mean the most to me. The things that should be natural and fluid and pure. Everything else is just... stuff. Good stuff, bad stuff. But it's just stuff.
Sometimes it feels like we're so disconnected from the essentials that we're perfectly okay with diminishing love into this accumulation of stuff. Material things. Superficial things. We want to make it look pretty for others, and sound pretty when we tell our friends all about it... but how many of us are really letting ourselves FEEL? Most people won't ever know the pure peace and serenity that comes from letting one's heart open up, to allow a person to set up residence. Many people don't even have the capacity to do so... But once you've felt an all-consuming love, anything less just feels... pointless.

So I wait.

Everything Must Go.

The world is huge.

Literally... like, it's ridiculously large. 
And with that vast amount of space comes an insane number of inhabitants. 
It's so easy to feel like you're just a speck on a canvas called life...mostly because, are.
But that doesn't stop me from feeling like the brilliant, vibrant speck that I am. If there's nothing else I've picked up and carried with me through my life so far, it's the fact that we only get one shot here. And depending on your particular beliefs, you may feel that you'll continue after this life (as I do), but you're never going to get another chance to be who you are in this particular time and place. 
So why not make the most of it?
Yes, life has it's issues. We've got bills, and debts, and dependents, and ailments, and work stress, and family stress, and relationship stress, and everything else imaginable. 
But these things are only temporary. 
I refuse to let them hinder the way I float through life. Things that are tangible serve precise purposes during our stay on this earth...but the intangibles?? That's what I'm here for. 
I'm here for the love that surrounds me... it's more powerful and consuming than any hate, negativity, and animosity could ever be. 
I'm here for the music...because there is indeed a song for EVERY occasion.
I'm here for the laughter...because I'm a dork and I truly believe that laughter is good for the soul.
I'm here for all the things that we can't take with us.
Because ultimately,
Everything must go. 

Reverse Psychology.

I know what I want, in some cases. Other times I don't know, simply because I've yet to sit down and let myself honestly decide. But in those moments when I know? I knowww.
So it irks me when someone tries to manipulate me into doing/saying/feeling something that is simply benefitting THEM. Call it reverse psych, manipulation, or's all the same to me. Don't fuckin do it.
For example, a person will ask you for something, and you'll give a definite answer: No. Why? Because you've (hopefully) weighed out the pros and cons of this request, and decided that ultimately, the risks do not outweigh benefits, and your human need for self-preservation tells you "No". ....Now all of a sudden you're mean, you're evil, you're cold, you're heartless, and all these other things that you weren't until you said what this person didn't wanna hear.
In my experience, there are two reactions to being called mean, evil, etc after declining someone's request. 
1) The "Oh, Baby...Don't Go!" One
I see this as someone who aims to please and impress at all times. If they even THINK someone is going to be upset with them in any way, they'll change up that decision they made as fast as lightning. This is the PERFECT patsy when it comes to a master manipulator. 
2) The "Oh, Word?" One
This person can see things for what they really are. They're less likely to fall for the manipulator's bullshit, because of their ability to make and stand by decisions. Either you're gonna roll with it, and conduct yourself accordingly...or you just gonna roll. Simple.
I classify myself as the "Oh, word?" type, if that isn't obvious by now lol. Because what you're NOT about to do is play my emotions like a violin to get what you want. I've been told that I put logic before emotion...and you're damned right. Its my choice, and my defense mechanism against making choices that don't protect my best interests. If I don't protect me, who will? Surely not someone who's foolish enough to try using reverse psychology on a psychology graduate.

Blurred Lines

I don't believe that interracial dating should still be as hot of a topic as it is...

I mean... any relationship that's formed and built on sincere love is already winning. Skin is skin. Race is race. Why do we sit and look at the outer packaging on people's relationships, and have the audacity to dive in head first with assumptions? I'm a firm believer in the fact that love transcends all the superficial boundaries that we try to impose on it. We look at an interracial couple and immediately see two separate pieces... instead of the single unit that they represent. Why?

I will admit, there is one thing I take issue with. That's the men/women who not only decide to date outside their race, but who then commence to tell you how they do it because people within their race {enter generalized insult here}. 

And we've all heard it before. Most notably for me?

Black man: "I date White women because Black women are too bossy/loud/ghetto/nagging/etc."

THAT's that shit I don't like.

I'm all for finding happiness with the person you fall in love with, build a foundation with, and choose to pursue a life with. We owe it to ourselves to do JUST that. But there's no need to put down an entire group of people because of the quality of men/women YOU'VE previously been exposed to. 
I think this issue in itself is completely independent from the issue some people have with interracial dating. We like to mesh them together, but we fail to realize that our previous experiences have no bearing on the next person's relationship. What you've been through isn't always what the next person is going to go through. 


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