Day 20--Letter to the One that Broke My Heart the Hardest.♥

To He Whose Name We Don't Speak
Hmm....I used to think that you'd always be the person who'd broken my heart, but now that I write this letter, I realize that you didn't break my heart. You crushed my ego, maybe...but my heart? I'm not really sure it was ever in your possession for you to break. See, for me...high school was this cozy little box full of routine. Even in the middle of the hoodest of 'hoods, high school felt like this little box of protection. To put it plain and simple, you were all I knew. I mean, I loved you. I won't deny that. But I don't think I was in love with you. Maybe after 2 years, I thought I was supposed to be in love with you...I mean, it was high school. Two years was like damn-near married lol. But what I have now....what I've had these last 4 years...feels completely different. Completely better. Completely real. So it makes me question everything I thought I had with you all those years ago.... either way, I felt some kinda way when you left...but there are no hard feelings. You taught me a lot...about how I should/shouldn't be treated. About what I should/shouldn't accept. I can appreciate that. The heartbreak I felt back then is completely covered up now (notice I said covered, not healed)...because I haven't seen spoken to you in years. If I was face-to-face with you right now, I don't have any idea what I'd say or how I'd feel. I do know this much: What we had was good at the time. We shared a time and space that no one else can appreciate as we do. When you left, things were hard for me. I felt rejected, stupid, duped, discarded, played, and a plethora of other things that took awhile to move past. But now, I'm a different me. An older me. A wiser me. A 'me' that survived heartbreak at the hands of a 'you'... and I'm grateful.

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