Untitled. ♥

"Wife...you deserve the label, but you've been hurt before so you're sore and don't feel you're able..." --Wale {Diary} ♥

So anyone who knows me will tell you that I'm hopelessly addicted to this song...I just love it. By far my favorite Wale joint ever. Marsha Ambrosious killed it too. Anyway...I'm listening to this as I type, with the volume as high as it'll go...on repeat...and it's just got me thinking about so much stuff...not necessarily personal stuff. Just in general...How many of us know someone who's let past relationships negatively affect our present relationships {or potential relationships}? A lot, right? My heart hurts for that person who isn't willing to let love back into his/her life, all because they let it in before and someone left them damaged...experience has shown us that usually it's easier to break something than it is to repair it...why would the heart be any different? It's so bad that it's gotten to a point where younger generations are being raised by bitter, damaged single parents...and are being taught not to believe in love in the first place, all because of the possibility of being hurt...On one hand, I can understand a parent's desire to keep any and all types of harm away from their children...but how can we know what joy feels like if we've never been exposed to pain? 
I'm also thinking about how people have this cycle...and half the time, they don't even realize it. We choose partners who either possess traits that we are used to being exposed to, or the opposite. Whether positive or negative...sometimes we're too used to something to objectively decide it's bad for us. Other times, we realize what's unhealthy, and aim for the furthest thing from it...but when every person you enter a relationship treats you the same way, or every relationship has the same outcome...you're engaging in a cycle. I think about so many people I know who jump from one partner to the next, and in the end everything turns out all bad...reinforcing the assumption that all men/women "aint shit"...but if trial and error doesn't teach you to modify your standards...aren't you partially to blame? It just seems as though those of use who have been hurt have a tendency to prejudge every subsequent person who approaches us...and rejecting those people {because you think all men/women ain't shit} could very well lead them to believe that all men/women ain't shit as well...so they'll go on to treat their next partner like crap...virtually just one big presumptuous, prejudiced domino effect...and all because we don't want to hurt. It's easier to hurt others than to let ourselves succumb to being the victim. It's quite the phenomenon, actually...
It's not only something that affects our interpersonal relationships... it affects self-esteem, as well. Being hurt has a tendency to make people think they deserved what happened to them...or caused it. That they don't deserve better. I think this is the reason for the whole cycle...why else would one continuously put their self in the position to be hurt?

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