For the First Time...

Since my mother passed away (February 3, 2008) I made it through Mother's Day with no sadness. I was able to go home for the weekend and spend time with my family, and catch up. It felt really good. Peaceful. I think a part of me has always felt like it would be disrespectful to my mother if I let holidays and birthdays go by without shedding tears. My religious upbringing tells me that she's in a better place. So that brings me some inner peace. I just miss her so much... I felt like I cried when I shouldn't, and had no tears when I should be crying. But now, I've realized that I have much to be thankful for. I still have an enormous family left behind, people who adore me and always have. I have a wonderful boyfriend who, even when we butt heads, loves me to death. I have a handful of real, amazing friends who make it their job to encourage me, and keep me in good spirits. I have an entire life ahead of me here on earth. I'd say tears aren't so necessary. Everything my mother would have done physically if she were still here can still be done spiritually now that she's gone. I can close my eyes and hear her voice. Pictures of her are worth way more than a thousand words. I even keep a small bottle of her perfume. Not to use...but sometimes all it takes is her scent to comfort me. My mother's love didn't stop when her heartbeat did... and for that, I'm also thankful. 

1 comment:

  1. Thank you for sharing this... it's really touching. I think it's wonderful that you were with your family on mother's day, too. =)

    And btw your mommy is beautiful!



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