Stanky Face... ♥

Earlier today, I was walking through the mall with my bestie and I was getting SO frustrated! First off, I don't know what it is about Black girls (and yes, I'm directing it towards our people, because they're the people I catch doing it EVERYday, EVERYwhere) but for some reason many feel the need to look every other Black girl in the vicinity up and down. Why? And I know you all know the look I'm talking about...that stank, "she-think-she-all-that" look that about 99.7% of the Black female population likes to give off. I just hate it. It makes me want to punch chicks in the face. Depending on my mood, my reaction to the Stanky Face may be to 1) return it, or 2) smile and keep it moving, or 3) glance indifferently at the person because I'm too cool for that BS. Lol. 
Second, what is it about moms and pregnant people that is just sooooo fascinating to random White people strangers? I can't even count the number of times when I've been out with my bestie and her son, and had weirdos trying to peep into the stroller/baby carrier, or wanting to touch his hair, or some other randomness. I get the whole "goo-goo ga-ga, he's so cute" thing, but WE DON'T KNOWWWW YOUUUUU! Lol. Gosh!
Another thing... I hate it when people wear leggings as pants. Why? Just don't do it...Apparently about 47% of the legging-wearing population didn't get the memo that the rule of thumb is, if it covers your ENTIRE {not half, or 3/4} butt, it's ok to wear with leggings. This applies to shirts, tunics, dresses, whatever... But if I can walk 4 feet behind you and see 1) the color, size tag, and design of your panties, 2) the fact that you're not wearing any panties, or 3) every dimple/bullethole/stretch mark/pimple, etc on your toosh...mayyyyybe you should do us all a favor and put on some damn pants! It's nasty! 


Ok people, how are all of your weekends going?? Mine has been great...
I'm still reeling from the Grey's Anatomy season 6 finale...for all my fans out there...whew! Shonda took us for a ride this time, huh? Excellent stuff! I can't wait to glue myself to the TV all over again next prediction: Meredith didn't really lose McBaby. I think he'll be making an appearance. Hopefully the Chief will resume his position. I wish with all my heart that Burke could come back and he and Cristina could be happily ever after...but we all know that's not possible. I don't like Cristina + Owen...he's just not my cup of tea.
I don't usually like surprises {mainly because I usually know about the 'surprise' before I receive it} but my love and my best friend got me yesterday! I was lounging around and my best friend asked me if I could babysit my godson while she and her husband went to the of course I said fine, bring him on over. In retrospect, this makes sense, but earlier in the day my boyfriend had been asking a bunch of questions like what's one wish you have right now {of course my answer was I wish he was here with me} or how would you feel if I were with you right now {and no, he didn't ask that in a dirty way...for you gutter-brains}...and just dropping a million hints. Well anyway, my best friend and hubby came to drop the baby off, then left. 5 minutes later, I hear her key turning and she walks back in, saying she forgot something. So I'm looking around like what could she have forgotten...and in walks my boyfriend behind her! He'd called her when he arrived in town, so she was in on the surprise, too. I was so happy. My dozen pink roses and my bottle of wine made me even happier! They got me sooooo good, and as I've said before, my love and I don't see one another as often as we'd like because of our long-distance relationship, so I've learned to cherish all the little visits and time we have together. It was a great weekend! 


I'm watching Grey's Anatomy reruns on Lifetime, awaiting the season finale in a couple hours...and I must say, if I were even remotely interested in guys with significantly less pigment than me, McSteamy {aka Dr. Mark Sloan, aka Eric Dane} would soooooo be my type. I think he's so gorgeous!


As much as I hate it, I look at things {and people} very stereotypically. A lot. I've been working on it, especially since I'm so conscious of it at this age....the problem is, I see so many people perpetuating these stereotypes that it makes it difficult for me to look at people any other way. Ever since I started my blog, I've had people who know me personally, ask me why I spend so much time blogging and reading other blogs. I don't know too many other people {in "real life"} who blog; I know some people who couldn't tell you what a blog is, believe it or not. The troubling thing is, most of these people are Black. It made me wonder, am I the weird one...or are there just an abundance of Black people behind on the times? A lot of the people I know would rather be sitting around watching BET, or chasing some chick/dude who could give a rats ass about them...or any number of things that, to sum it up, are a waste of time. So it makes me happy when I visit blogs of people all over the world who share their views and perspectives on so many relevant and eye-opening {or hilarious and random} different things. Especially Black people. For a second, I really thought Black people didn't blog...{yes, a second}.
I love blogging because not only is it an outlet {I rant and rave about random things all the time, and I can appreciate that some people don't want to hear that ish}, but I enjoy reading other perspectives, looking at others' blog setups and creativity, hearing music I may not have heard before, etc. Following blogs, and having people follow yours, is like having a group of people outside your immediate circle who share your views, or at least share the desire and willingness to look at things and come up with a valid opinion of them. I think it's amazing that so many people sign up for FBs and Twitter, and things of that allow you to condense thoughts into a tiny box all day long...but wouldn't give blogging a chance. I update my status as much as the next person, but I don't like condensing my thoughts. Why be limited by a predetermined amount of characters? Why not expand, and express? Even when I post a status, that box will never be big enough to hold all the things that could be on my mind at any given point in time...

My First Lady ♥

and her man look amazing! Love this was just speaking to me. So I thought I'd share :-)

Choices... ♥

So I was discussing 'Good' and 'Bad' hair and all that jazz with a friend of mine, and I ended up taking a look back at an old post of mine...and I realized that, with all the things we can do to our hair, I believe our most prized possession is...choice. It's something that so many Black women don't realize they have...A lot of us are stripped of that choice when we're young, as I was. I honestly can't even remember how old I was when I began getting relaxers in my hair, but I've had them as long as I can remember. My hair has always been so thick and, as some would call it, unmanageable. So my mother, being a single working mom of two, did the easiest thing she knew how: she began to relax my hair. I wasn't old enough to realize the effect, besides my hair being straight and not having to cringe when someone pulled a comb through it (I was, and still am, what we call "tender-headed") lol...and I don't fault my mother. She took care of my hair as best as she could. The fact is, so many Black women don't dedicate the time necessary to nurturing what's naturally ours. We'd rather let chemicals become a quick fix, and before we know it, our hair doesn't know how to function without it. Our manes start craving that creamy crack every few weeks. 
I just wish parents would give their kids the choice. Why disrupt a natural process of growth to save yourself a couple minutes of work? I posted a pic of myself at age 5...that's what my hair looked like before I began getting relaxers. Disregard my eyebrows...please! That's a whole 'nother story! LoL...but my point is, I look back at this pic and I don't see "good" or "bad" hair. I see me! And caterpillar-brows and all, I adore this picture. I've wondered for years now what my hair would look and feel like today, had the creamy crack epidemic never hit it. Today, I've learned how to love my hair, no matter how many combs I've ruined or how long it takes to wash, dry, and style my curly madness. It's mine, and I love I'm willing to put as much time as it takes into maintaining it! 

Stress... ♥

Yesterday kicked off the first day of my second-to-last semester of Undergrad. I've never had so much trouble with starting school in my life.
I've been dealing with crap for the past month with these Financial Aid people, and it's getting REALLY irritating. Not to mention, stressful. See, I'm a student at this school because of my high school academics. I was able to earn a full 4-year tuition scholarship, for which I am eternally grateful... especially now. I've never had to worry about my school fees being paid...hell, the most I've ever had to fret over was when my refund from my other grants would be posted. Now? Whole 'nother story. Semester is here, in full effect, and my financial aid hasn't even been processed yet. WTF? Then I call the office, as I've been doing every single day, and everyday I get the same scripted response. Even more aggravating? I'm being told to "give it a little more time"....say what?
Dear Sir/Madam:
I understand and appreciate that you've already earned your degree, and that your kids are probably getting a mad discount on schooling if they attend this university, thereby relieving you from having a care in the world. I, however, am a lovely young Black lady from the hood...who refuses to go back there, especially without a Bachelor's in-hand. THEREFORE, it would behoove you to play with your little buttons on your little computer, and process my shit! Please and thank you!

What is It?? ♥

I was browsing another website when I saw a post about a book entitled Losing My Cool: How a Father’s Love and 15,000 Books Beat Hip-Hop Culture by Thomas Chatterton Williams. In his text, Williams looks at how Hip-Hop has basically become a pervasive detriment to our community; Hip-Hop Culture has replaced Black Culture.
I want to read this book, so when I do I’ll offer an actual opinion on it. Although the book is new to me, the argument isn’t. I’ve heard it countless times since I’ve been in college, around people who are actually willing to step back and take a look at the reality of what our “culture” has become, without being too defensive to see the real deal. That being said, I agree with some aspects of Mr. Williams’ argument. 
I don’t think Hip-Hop is to blame for what’s going on in households and street corners around the world. Period, point blank. I do, however, believe that somewhere along the line, the world’s image of a Black person became that “thugged-out”, sperm-donating, baggy-pants wearing, cornrow rockin’ jewelry-laced person that can be seen on TV at any given time in the day. This has become what people expect of us. I wrote a post back when the BET series Harlem Heights aired, and I mentioned that Black people don’t respond to shows that try to represent our race in a positive light. We’d rather see ourselves on TV acting a damn fool. I’m willing to bet that a lot of kids under 18 today have never even watched such things as The Cosby Show, A Different World, etc. It’s not fast-paced enough for many of these kids, who are being raised in the world of reality TV and 106th & Park. However, I don’t blame hip-hop.
It is my opinion, as a Black, 21 year old, hood-born-and-raised woman in America, that families are at the core of responsibility. Individuals and their choices. People have dropped the ball in generations as of late, and no one seems strong enough (or willing) to look in the mirror and acknowledge what is so apparent. Isn't acknowledging a problem the first step to fixing it? If we never take that step, what is the fate of our Black Community? Yes, there are things that have happened in this world to us as a people. But what about the things we continuously do to ourselves and to one another? What about darkskin vs. lightskin? What about “good hair” vs. “nappy hair”? What about “acting White” vs. “acting Black”? I doubt that Hip-Hop put those drugs into the hands of drug dealers and the fiends they’re accustomed to serving. Hip-Hop isn’t the culprit of a person beating his/her spouse, children, etc. I think it’s weak-minded of anyone to suggest that a genre of music has infiltrated his/her daily life to the point where it changes them for the worst. Where is our common sense???
A lot of us seem to have internalized the idea that to be Black is to be dumbed-down, inarticulate, hyper sexualized, etc…all while rocking the latest styles. It’s pretty ridiculous, right? Kids are afraid to show their intelligence because someone will accuse them of being an “Oreo” or “acting White”. So the smart kids sit in class, keeping answers to themselves, purposely inserting slang and ebonics into their everyday vernacular, just to satisfy someone else’s internalized ignorance. It hurts my soul…pushing past stereotypes is something we simply need to develop the strength to do.
I was born and raised in Cleveland, Ohio. The real Cleveland, not the surrounding areas where all the White people live/used to live before Black people moved in and “chased them away”. I live in the Cleveland where there’s literally an abandoned home next door, a crack house across the street, another couple crack houses down the street, an Arab-owned store on the corner, right next to a church, and a prostitute who’s walked our block for as long as I can remember, with her short cut blond hair and her missing front teeth. That’s where I’ve lived. I was raised, like so many others, by my mother and her mother, with my father heavily in the picture as well, just not living in the household. I grew up riding my bike around the block, buying candy from the corner store, and I grew up listening to Hip-Hop. However I am not a typical product of my environment. I don’t steal, I don’t do drugs, I don’t have any children/pregnancies/abortions, I’m a semester away from earning my first college degree, and I have every intention of earning at least one more. Every free moment I have is spent listening to music, especially Hip-Hop. So I ask you, is Hip-Hop really to blame?
To sum it all up (because I know some people love lists and bullet points and whatnot):
It is not Hip-Hop's job to:
1) Raise your children.
2) Be a role model for your children.
3) Teach your children how to excel.
4) Provide a blueprint to success.
At best, Hip-Hop is an art form, used to relay the emotions and thoughts of our people, in a way that uplifts our spirits while putting a creative spin on our reality.
At worst, Hip-Hop is just another form of cheap entertainment, a business designed to exploit our people by promising us the very thing that we've been trying to gain for decades on this continent: wealth. 
Either way, there is so much more out there for all of us. The problem is lack of encouragement and knowledge being instilled in our children, to let them know that they ARE more than the clothes they "rock" and the cell phones, iPods, and gadgets they own. The potential is limitless, but it means nothing without desire to do better...

Manipulation... ♥

So I'm listening to Wale's "The Manipulation" {a track from The Mixtape About Nothing} and it made me wonder...why are there so many women who settle for men talking to them any ol' kind of way? If you've never heard the song, it's kind of an alter-ego set-up with two separate beats. Against one beat, Wale raps from the point of view of a sweet, considerate, well-mannered guy. Then the beat switches and you have the other guy who calls women b*tches and h*es, and basically demeans them. The moral is that women have a choice of which type of guy we respond to, and I completely agree. 
There's nothing I hate more than hearing a female talk about how disrespected they felt when a dude approached them with "Yo b*tch, you got a man?" or "Damn girl, you got a fat a*s...what I gotta do to hop on that?!"...then a week later, the two of them are dating. What makes certain women respond to these approaches? I've discussed this with female friends before, and one common thing was that back in, say, high school, it was the 'thing' to approach girls like this. So the girls thought guys who stepped to them this way were cool. I don't remember ever thinking that was Apparently at some point, girls let this become "cool", so more guys started doing it. 
When did disrespectful guys become the default, making well-mannered ones the exception? Would you notice the quiet, mellow, respectful guy first at a club/mall/party? Or would you notice the loud, obnoxious, rude one? Which would you prefer to approach/be approached by?

For the First Time...

Since my mother passed away (February 3, 2008) I made it through Mother's Day with no sadness. I was able to go home for the weekend and spend time with my family, and catch up. It felt really good. Peaceful. I think a part of me has always felt like it would be disrespectful to my mother if I let holidays and birthdays go by without shedding tears. My religious upbringing tells me that she's in a better place. So that brings me some inner peace. I just miss her so much... I felt like I cried when I shouldn't, and had no tears when I should be crying. But now, I've realized that I have much to be thankful for. I still have an enormous family left behind, people who adore me and always have. I have a wonderful boyfriend who, even when we butt heads, loves me to death. I have a handful of real, amazing friends who make it their job to encourage me, and keep me in good spirits. I have an entire life ahead of me here on earth. I'd say tears aren't so necessary. Everything my mother would have done physically if she were still here can still be done spiritually now that she's gone. I can close my eyes and hear her voice. Pictures of her are worth way more than a thousand words. I even keep a small bottle of her perfume. Not to use...but sometimes all it takes is her scent to comfort me. My mother's love didn't stop when her heartbeat did... and for that, I'm also thankful. 

Truth? ♥

I don't know what the hell I'm doing after undergrad.
I don't know where I want to reside after undergrad.
I ate ice cream and Dove chocolates for breakfast this morning.
Worms make my insides churn.
I'm scared of marriage...because I'm scared of divorce.
I voted for Obama because he's Black.
I'm not ashamed, either.
I have 3 closets FULL of clothes...and sometimes I still have nothing to wear.
There's a spider crawling across my ceiling right now. 
I won't kill it because I'm afraid that if I miss, it'll fall on my head.
Every free moment of my life is filled with music, either in my head or from my speakers.
I still think boys have cooties. 
I like my men strong and BLACK... 
My coffee is a different story...
That is all.
For now.

Fraternization ♥

I was talking to a co-worker of mine today, and we got on the subject of relationships/friendships with one's supervisor/manager/employer. We have one manager who is thee sweetest thing ever! I always joke that she's the ivory to my ebony, because we're just always on the same wavelength. If a person walks into our store and I have something that I want to (but can't) say about them, I'll look at her (my manager) and she'll know what I'm thinking...because she was thinking it too lol. It's like we share a brain or somethin'! Anyways, our other manager is kinda cool, and she's funny (sometimes) but not as personable as manager least in the mind of my fellow employees. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that some of the employees are kinda afraid of her. Why? IDK. She's got some bully-ish tendencies, but so do I so I can handle it. Either way, both managers know how to keep the line solidly drawn between business and friendships, but do you think it's a good idea to befriend a person who's higher on the business totem pole than you? Or lower? As an employee, what if one day you screw up and wind up with your job on the line? As an employer, what if you end up having to fire someone you've become friends with? It's kind of like when you're close friends with someone and don't want to enter a romantic relationship with's tempting, but weighing out the pros and cons is definitely a must. There are some people who would make lovely friends, but I personally keep all these "friendships" at arm's length. 

The Death Sandwich ♥

Excerpt from a random conversation on a FB status I posted a couple weeks ago, about what I've come to affectionately refer to as The Death Sandwich....

Sonji Sheree loves chicken just as much as the next person, but KFC is doing wayyy too much lol that big ol' death sandwich...
Friend K: LoL @ death sandwich!!!
Me: Lol girl for real, I'm lookin at this commercial like wtf, we using chicken breasts as bread now?? Lmfao

Seriously...what were they (KFC) thinking??? I'm sorry, but this is just the hottest mess I've seen in a long time...And then they have the nerve to include a promo for donating money to breast cancer research for every bucket of chicken people buy, or something like that. For real? Soooo we're all for curing breast cancer, yet we're selling hypertension, heart disease, and high cholesterol by the bucket? SMdH!

Hola, Muchachos! ♥

Hey guys!
Sorry I've been away, but I'm back! Hopefully I'll be back on track with my blogging! 
It's Monday, and it's finals week. I'm wrapping up what has been my best semester in awhile! I'm seriously thinking I'll have my 4.0 this time. I've already aced 3 out of 5 finals (and their respective classes), and I have 2 papers I'm waiting on grades for (which I'm pretty sure are A's too) so I'm hoping for the best! 
In other news...while I was away, I became single! 
For like a day. Lol. A little miscommunication (actually more like a lack of communication) led to issues where my S.O. felt there was a lot of negative stuff going on that he couldn't talk to me about he simply didn't talk to me. For a number of days. At the time I was going WTF, really dude? I declared myself single (I made it FB official and EVERYTHING, but he doesn't even check his FB anymore so it was pretty pointless and went unnoticed lol) even though I knew in my heart that I was still 'In a Relationship' lol. But we worked it out, talked it out, and now we're all patched up. Sometimes we get too comfortable as a couple, and perhaps we forget about the friendship thing we once had where we could vent to each other about anything under the sun... and these things happen. *shrug*
Hmmm what else... I cut some ties I should have cut a LONG time ago. It feels good. I feel free. I don't need people in or around my life who are serving no purpose. I'm not crippled; I don't need anyone as a crutch. On the same token, I don't want to be anyone else's crutch, either. You know that little cliche about seasonal friends/acquaintances? Yeah... some people have been in my life long past their season. Expiration date was up a long time ago, and it's not that I just realized's that I'm just now taking the initiative to actually do something about it. So I'm in a good place right now... I'm about to finish jammin' to this Wale {The Mixtape About Nothing} and eating my ice cream {yes, it's 11:30 at night but so what. I've had a long day lol}


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