The Cookout.♥

My blog is usually all about me. I don't have a media-based blog, so I don't sit around regurgitating crap that I see on other blogs everyday...however, every once in awhile I'll read or hear about something that I can't help but to address. That being said, I'm sure we've all heard about the "Compton Cookout" fiasco in Cali. If not, crawl from under your rock and g00gle it. 
I talked to a group of friends and classmates about this, and we tried to have an open discussion, where everyone of every color could actually speak their truth regarding racism... I imagine there's some margin of error in there, because some people still don't like to say how they really feel about other races. Whatever. Shame, being non-confrontational, or whatever their reason...we're living in America in 2010. Everyone knows about racial stereotypes. The only difference among us is that there are those who live their lives believing the stereotypes and generalizing them to an entire race of people, there are those within those races who perpetuate the stereotypes, there are those who make it their business NOT to perpetuate the stereotype, and there are those who fall in between categories. 
That being said, I was upset with this story. Upset enough to shake my head about it and want to discuss it with peers. We all agreed that, offensive or not, these stereotypes are what many people think of when they see Black People. We live in a time when media basically runs the world. People believe what they see/hear. It's human nature. So if this is the 'Us' that people are constantly shown, why should we expect anything more from them? I'm not taking either side on the issue, and that's where some people get upset. I'm not going to stand up and say "Black people don't act like that!" because the fact of the matter is many of our people do! If you can't or won't do better, or are comfortable living the way you live, who are you to complain? Do I think it's stupid? Yes. Do I think it's fair that people think this represents Black people as a whole? No. But the fact of the matter is, we perpetuate these things and make fun of ourselves as well as other races ALL the time. Why are we surprised that non-Black people do the same? When we watch parodies such as Don't Be a Menace to South Central While Drinkin' Your Juice in the Hood, we sit and laugh our asses off. It's all in fun. You think Black people are the only ones who've watched the movie? Or music videos that we continue to support, when they all look like they're literally made from a checklist consisting of Bling, Alcohol, T&A, and Cars? We can say all day that people discriminate against Blacks in the media, but I've seen people I know who refuse to watch shows by/about educated, striving-for-excellence Black people. They call things like that "boring", or "lame". Back when BET aired their reality show Harlem Heights, many people didn't bother to support it. Reactions varied between "Ugh, they're so bougie" and "I love them! Finally someone is making us look good!" I personally loved the series. Simply seeing our people in a different light, and on something other than 106th & Park or COPS can make a world of difference...for ourselves as well as other races in the world. People can't accurately critique what they don't understand or know. A lot of people, especially White people, don't grow up around us. Blame that on our segregated country and economy. Many of them don't go to school with us everyday, or interact closely with us on the regular. I've met people in my predominantly White college who'd never met a Black person "in real life" until they arrived at college. What other prototype do they have to go on? I don't say all this to excuse racist acts, because pointing out one wrong thing in relation to another wrong thing doesn't make that original wrong thing justified. I'm just saying that our portrayal, in the media and otherwise, matters. So support things that represent the other aspects of us. We call one another "bougie" or "ghetto" in a heartbeat, and for some, there is no gray area. These two extremes are usually what TV portrays. If we can't agree on what is accepted within our race, how do we combat the discrimination against it? Are we more upset with the stereotypes, or with the fact that someone else is pointing them out?
I will agree with the fact that this entire incident was effed up. I've heard White students argue that "People have White Trash parties all the time, and no one gets offended". I don't know how yall feel about that statement, but as far as I'm concerned, the problem isn't only the outcome of things like this. It's the lack of diversity and sensitivity to ALL parts of the human race. Simply put, our society is desensitized to racism. Some schools have courses on diversity. I think all schools should. Not just colleges and universities, but ALL schools. Why? Because we live in a world filled with different groups of people. Children who aren't taught diversity grow up into adults who remain ignorant to diversity. Hate and racism are direct results of ignorance. We hate what we don't know or understand. Yes, history has shown us some ugly things, but instead of raising more and more generations of hate, why not fight for tolerance? I went to a Diversity Week event on my campus last school year. There was a whopping THIRTY people in attendance. Not to mention the fact that this week was designated to diversity. What about the other weeks of the year? I believe racism and intolerance are learned behaviors. When we start actually talking to one another and knowing the FACTS, and how they differ from STEREOTYPES, maybe our society will develop some type of hope.

Happy! ♥

Hey guys! I thought I'd let you all know that I made it to Chicago, then onto Iowa safe and sound. So I'll be here with my love through next week. Probably won't be posting much, lol, we've got 6 months worth of lost time to make up for! I've missed hanging out with him! Also, the trip was problem-free, which I'm ever so grateful for. This is the middle of February in the midwest, so weather was my only concern, but it literally didn't snow at all during the time I was traveling. I drove 4 hours from my home to Chicago, stayed with his family, then the next morning (yesterday) drove the other 5 hours from Chicago to Cedar Falls. It literally started snowing as soon as I parked and checked into my hotel room. How about awesome? Lol. It's not supposed to snow on my return trip, either. Again, Grateful....
But yeah, I'm here! Having a blast so far, and I've literally been in IA for a full 23 hours now. I wish I could attach some cute-ass lovey dovey up to date pic of us together, but to be quite frank...he's still in bed asleep (long night of clubbing) and my hair is ALL over the place. Not ugly, just super wild bed head lol. Curls galore. So At some point in the midst of all the fun I'll snap some shots. My best friend yelled at me on Valentine's Day because I posted a pic of my babe and I, and there was this status thing going around that said to post a pic of you and your sig. other, and say how long you've been together in your status. So since we were posting how long, I thought it would be cute to post the first pic we'd ever taken together. But noooo, my best friend tells me that pic is too old lol, and that I need to put an up-to-date one. Which, whatever, that's fine. Except SOME of us aren't married and living with our S.O., so some of us can't just snap random pics together whenever we want lol. And really, when we do see each other we get such a limited amount of time together that we don't have time to be taking any damn pictures lol. So yeah. But anyway, I think sleeping beauty might be awaking lmao so I'm gonna go snuggle. TTYL!!

My Alphabet ♥

I found this over at my newest follower {Cook.ThePoet.}'s blog, so I decided to jack it! THanks for following, and for the rest of you...Have fun getting to know my ABCs!
A - AVAILABLE: Yep...only to my man, though! ♥
B - BIRTHDAY: July 30, 1988. Go Leos! ♥
C - CRUSHING ON: Raheem Devaughn My maaaaan ♥ 
D - DRIVING: Yes. I've got the road rage to prove it.
E - EMOTIONAL: Perhaps... but you love it ♥
F - FAVORITE SONG : Must I choose?? Ugghhh. 
G - GUMMY BEARS OR GUMMY WORMS: Neither...I'm not a gummy fan ♥
H - HOMETOWN: Cleveland... home of the Cavs and their bandwagon 
I - IN LOVE WITH: Myself! Damn, I'm awesome! ♥
J - JUGGLE: School, multiple jobs, bills lol, staying gorgeous! ♥
K - KILLED SOMEONE: No body, no crime ♥
L - LONGEST CAR RIDE: Atlanta, for spring break last year. 12 hours. ♥
O - ONE WISH: To be unconditionally...happy ♥
P - PERSON YOU TALKED TO LAST: Some skeez at work ♥
S - SONG YOU LAST HEARD: Pretty Girls {Wale} LOVE! ♥
T - TIME YOU WOKE UP: 9-ish AM ♥
W - WORST HABIT: Rolling my eyes... ♥
X - X-RAYS YOU’VE HAD: I think 3 ♥
Y - YARD WORK: I don't do the whole 'nature' thing ♥
Leo. ♥


is what I would want for Valentine's Day... lol if I weren't so desperately in love (insider) Lol. For now, I'll just stick to having his amazing music on repeat 24/7... literally lol. Happy Valentine's Day, lovers and loves! 

I Am...♥

Sleepy, but trying to motivate myself to clean my house up before work (I know I won't feel like it afterwards!)
Happy, because this time next week I'll be in Cedar Falls (Iowa) with my love...on cloud 9.
Anxious, because I'm ready to leave. NOW!
Determined to make today a great day. Waking up to sunshine and turning on some good music will do that to ya!
Loving my life right now, and all the people in it. And all the clutter I've eliminated from it.
Cold, because of the draft coming through the window next to my computer desk...but I like to look outside while I blog and ish. 
Excited, because I've been sans-creamy crack (relaxer) since May now, and yesterday a young man at my job complimented me on my au-natural look. My hair hadn't been "done" in about 5 days... I did a curly set on like...I don't even remember what day last week. My hair is still looking great. Speaking of that, I'm
Thankful that I can sleep, wake up, remove my satin sleep cap, and GO! No extra hair junk needed!
Sad, because my beautiful younger cousin is now one of "those girls" at school who gets picked on because she "thinks she's all that"...and has been suspended for defending herself from a jealous girl who yanked her hair because she wanted to see if it was fake. When will our young ladies stop hating one another??


What a week I had...glad that another one is coming up. Fresh. 
Last week I was in thee gloomiest of moods, and once again thanks to all of you who gave words of encouragement on my last post. I really do appreciate it! The day didn't go so bad. I kept busy, and I tried not to let my mind wander to any dark, sad places! 
I completely forgot about an exam I had due on Friday in my online Clinical PSY class {the danger of online courses} so I spent literally the entire day studying. It paid off, though. Got a 94. Could've been better, but it's only the first exam. 
Things are looking up at work. I still want another job, though. But for the time being, I'm fine. I don't remember if I told you guys (and I'm too lazy to look) but I had an issue with the management in my store because they acted like they didn't want me taking my spring break week off to visit my boyfriend in Iowa. I haven't seen him since he was here for my birthday back in late July/early August. Soooo I had a pissy attitude. Which is NOT pretty. But everything is fine now. Didn't get my week off, but it doesn't matter because I'm going the weekend after next. Excited. YaY! We really need this Q-time. Long distance is stressful... I'm considering going out there for grad school...which is a whole 'nother post. We'll see...
Speaking of the sig. other, I spent like a half hour earlier deleting like EVERYONE from my page. Like a LOT of people. Only 54 people made the cut. That includes my family (blood or otherwise), my man, my best friends, and some friends that I couldn't bear to delete. Everyone else was just taking up space. I was on a rampage... Apparently one or more of my boyfriend's friends/schoolmates/teammates/whoever felt the need to run and report to him every time I do anything on FB. Doesn't matter that I'm not doing anything inappropriate at all...all I do is change my status, comment on other statuses, and talk to my BFF who lives out there in Iowa... ((Oh yeah, y'all remember this post? Well a couple months ago she called me out of the blue, and long story short, we're back to being friends again.)) But anyway, yeah so this FB thing blew me away because basically my boyfriend never gets on there, and I guess whatever someone told him made him jealous, even though he wouldn't admit it. So long story short, has anyone ever seen that episode of The Game where Melanie chops her hair off as a way of cutting off her feelings, and I guess making a fresh start? Well thats kinda what I did with the FB friends list. I feel better, too. I deleted ALL his friends. IDK who the so-called snitch is {even though 'snitch' implies that I did something wrong} but now it doesn't matter because none of them can see my page. I deleted all the other people because...well I don't talk to them anyway. And I could honestly care less about their lives. It's mostly old schoolmates. Who I didn't even talk to when we were in school together lmao. Good Riddance! 

It's That Time of Year Again...♥

So I'm keeping myself busy for the day, because I don't want my mind wandering. Not much to say right now, but just keep my family and I in your prayers. Today marks the second year since I lost my mother to colon cancer, and it's still pretty fresh. My brother doesn't handle this day so well, but he's a boy so you know he doesn't want to talk about it. It's a rough day for the both of us...So just keep us in your prayers. 

Dear Lost Little Girl...

You are NOT a Barbie. 
Barbie is a set of carefully assembled plastic, created for children to play with. 
Although the distinction between the two is becoming obscured, People are NOT Barbie dolls. 
What's this fascination with all things fake? 
Is there like a limit to how much fake stuff you can have simultaneously? Lol...
Like, fake hair, fake nails, fake skin (makeup), fake eyes, fake lips, fake boobs, fake asses, etc.... I mean, where does it end? I blogged awhile ago about a chick who almost died from getting hydrogel injections in her butt because her boyfriend wanted it to be bigger. WTF?? Some people take it tooooooo far! I mean, personally I think that some of these things (nails, makeup, weave) are moderation. I mean, there are exceptions to everything, but I don't see too many people checkin' for a chick walking around with a caked on face, 60 inch hair, and 7 inch acrylics...If you feel like breast implants are absolutely essential to your well-being...get it how you live. Colored contacts...ehh. Whatever. But when EVERYTHING is's kind of a problem, don't you think? I don't feel like I'd wanna be the fool who dies because of some crap being injected into my face, ass, etc... 


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