Sooo Thursday is pretty much always the end of my school week. I'm glad. This week particularly pissed me off in a multitude of ways. I'm like Keyshia Cole now...I just want it to be over.
Have you ever just been pissed and irritated for no reason?? I'm not one for all the PMS foolishness, but somethin is going on. Either that, or everybody in the world had a secret meeting and decided to push my buttons this week. I just want to be left alone. Is that too much to ask? Not permanently. Not indefinitely. Just long enough to breathe and live and not have to worry about everyone else's BS, or listen to their drama, or have to give advice... All I asked was to be left the fuck alone. Some people can't even get that through their heads. If I'm feeling this way, common sense SHOULD tell these people not to come asking me what's wrong, or am I mad at them, or other BS questions. If I wanted to talk to you, I wouldn't specifically say, DON'T TALK to ME. Right?? Clarification at it's finest. If I knew what was wrong, I wouldn't need to get away long enough to think about it!! THis probably sounds like a bunch of meaningless rambling, and maybe it is... but writing is and has always been the only way I know to vent. Plus it's my blog. I can do what the eff I want.
My week started off crappy. Here's the deal: You all know the deal with my relationship. Double long distance. Boyfriend is from Chicago. Full wrestling scholarship to U of Northern Iowa. I live in Ohio. Full ride as well. We're making the distance work as best as we can. We haven't seen each other since my birthday (July/early Aug). The plan was for me to go visit him for V-day weekend. Fail. He wrestles in Tennessee that weekend. Moved it up to the previous weekend. Fail again. Their also wrestling somewhere that weekend. So we finally settle on the second week of March. It's the only week he has off from wrestling, and it happens to be my Spring Break. Perfect, right? Go to request off at work...and I'm told that I can't. I don't want to go into it, but just know that I was more pissed than I've EVER been that day. I don't even want to let my mind go back to it. Just know that if I had another job, I'd have walked my ass out and quit that day. But alas, I'm but a broke college student...
Before this even happened, I fell out with my grandmother. Why? She calls me. Asks what I'm doing. I tell her I'm looking at hotels because I'm going to Iowa for Spring Break. Her response: I know you're not driving out there are you? I tell her yes, I am. I don't do planes and even if I did, a round trip is like 400 bucks. Plus hotel? No thanks. My plan was to drive to Chicago (which is halfway) and stay the night at his parents' home, then drive the rest of the way. We've done it before. Simple plan. Works just fine. My grandmother commences to tell me that my boyfriend doesn't respect me if he lets me drive all the way out there. Never mind the fact that I'm grown, and that he doesn't let or make me do anything, or that we alternate on visits and he visited me during my birthday weeks (yes, the whole 2 weeks was my bday).... then she tells me that he doesn't have my best interests at heart, and that I shouldn't always be chasing him, because that's what makes men not respect women. Yeeeeah. That's how my week went. Let's see, I believe that was Sunday. Haven't spoken to her since. Haven't answered any calls from her, and haven't called her. I've been happily living my love life for 3 years. As far as I'm concerned, if I wanna walk to IA to see my man, whose business is it? Me telling her about the trip was just a formality, a precaution to let someone know in case of emergency what my plans were. It wasn't to ask her permission or her opinion. So as of now, she's pissed me off to the fullest extent, and me being denied my time off just adds salt to the wound, because that was the only convenient time for me to plan my trip. Now it's looking like I'll have to wait til school is out. Again. I'm not driving 10 hours to only spend a day or a weekend with him. I wouldn't have him do it either. As I've said, long-distance relationships aren't for the faint of heart.
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