Backhanded Compliments♥

Today, I was approached by a man who, after asking my name, attempting to obtain my phone number, and dismissing my revelation that I'm in a relationship, proceeded to tell me that I looked like a "Big ass Barbie"....
{insert b*tch slap}
No, but really...what? First of all, I don't do that whole backhanded compliment thing. Either you think I'm a fat ass (insult) or you think I'm gorgeous (compliment) or that I was dressed cute (again, compliment)... Either way, he looked like a broke ass wannabe Ken. So....that's what I addressed him as. Since I'm Big-ass Barbie, he was Broke-ass Ken... needless to say, the conversation pretty much faded from there. Lol.
I can't stand someone who either doesn't know or doesn't care enough to think about their words before opening the bottom hole in their face and letting BS flow out of it. Other statements that piss me off:
"Damn, you're fine as hell for a big girl!"
"Oooh, she's cute for a dark-skinned girl."
My personal favorite: When a guy approaches you and says all the nice things in the world...until you reject his advances. Then you're all types of fat, ugly, stuck-up b*tches and h*es! How fat, ugly, and stuck-up was I when you were asking for my digits? Creep.
Why can't someone just be attractive? Obviously if a female is aesthetically pleasing enough for you to approach her, then the insults are unnecessary! Not to mention tacky and ignorant! 

Where Are You?!♥

Does anyone remember this song? Before her milkshake started bringing all the boys to the yard, Kelis made me a lifelong fan with this song. I don't care how hot of a mess she is, this song is fire to me! She's such an underrated artist, in my opinion, and even though this was one of her singles, she has a lot of music that hasn't been heard by most people unless they've bought her albums. Anywho, I love Kelis. I think Kaleidoscope was her best album, and I wish she'd make more music like that again! 

T.G.I.A.B.F.A. (Thank Gawd it Ain't Black Friday Anymore) ♥

1) My grandma loves me SOO much that she made me my own mini Thanksgiving dinner to take back to my home, since I missed actual Thanksgiving Day here with the family. (I live in a different city, and decided it would be whack to drive to my hometown and have to go right back for my 6 AM Black Friday shift at work)
2) Speaking of Black Friday, how is it that thee brokest, complaining-est people (everything coming out of their mouths is preceeded by "It's a recession!") had the money to come to the mall and shop yesterday?? As I watched people walk around like zombies, looking like they rolled out of the pits of Hell bed and into the mall, I'm thinking Hmm, I wonder which of your bills you DIDN'T pay with that money you're up here spending...We all know how people around here love to prioritize!!
3) It was so amusing to see all these women in and out of stores, while their men were sitting in the seats in the main walkways of the mall, or even curled up asleep in the corner. No, really. Knocked out. Wish I'd taken a picture lol.
4) Why subject small children to the pandemonium of Black Friday? It's 6am. Just because your grown self is wide awake, all hyped up about some miscellaneous sales doesn't mean that your kid is. So don't be surprised when he/she/they start walking around like zombies with their eyes half closed, drooling, crying "Mommy I wanna go to sleep!"
5) I was watching the news last night and this was one of the stories. Basically, a couple who met while waiting in line for Black Fridy a few years ago decided to make a traditon out of it. So they got married. In the line. Outside Best Buy. They also plan to spend all their anniversaries in line. Cool, right?? Ol' dude never has to worry about the wrong anniversary gift, or forgetting his anniversary! Didn't even have to splurge on a crazy wedding! Shout out to the recession! Message: Forget a wedding, buy a flatscreen!

Ode to My BLB♥

My last post was pretty sad, so on a lighter note...I just realized earlier how much I love my little brother! And no, there was no big event or action that made me see this... I just woke up with him on my mind. 
He's my only sibling. Same Mommy, different dads. My Big Li'l Brother (as I affectionately call him) will be the big 15 next month, and he's grown from an adorable little boy to a handsome young teenager and...well...I'm proud of him. {if he were here, this would be the part where he told me to stop being so mushy lol}. My brother hasn't always been the most behaved, but we're working on that, because as his older sister, I feel it's my job to encourage him, and let him know what to expect once he's out in the real world. He's had to grow up faster than many kids his age...we both have. He was 13 when we lost our Mommy, and if the term "Mama's Boy" was in the dictionary, my BLB's pic would be right next to it. 

I know that 13 is a critical age, and on a certain level I know how he feels, but he's yet to let me (or anyone else) into that part of him that I know mourns our loss. As the youngest child, the only son, of a single someone new to the teenage world...I can't fully understand what's in his head. But I do know that I'm the only other person on this planet who knew what it was like to be this woman's child, and how it feels to have lost her. We inhabited the same woman's womb...we're bonded for life. So, through all the misbehaving, attitude, teenage rebellion, emotional walls, etc... I still let him know that I'm here. When I try to get in his head, he doesn't always want to go there with me...but I know he hears me when I speak to him. I know he knows that I adore him, and that I was there when he was born, and that I'll always be with him. Just like our Mommy will always be with the both of us. And whenever I have days like this, I remember how much he means to me, and how much we meant to her. And it brightens my day.
PS: The second picture was taken earlier this year at my brother's 8th grade promotion. He's about 6'5'' now. And growing. I've already got my ass-kickin' shoe stank face ready for the fast-tailed girls that have been swarming since puberty hit!


Today was just one of those days for me...
I didn't feel like doing anything, or being bothered with anyone. 
I just wanted to be lost in my own thoughts...but not for too long.
Sometimes I feel like I have to put on this smile, and appear happy regardless of how I'm really feeling.
Call me crazy, but in a way, I feel like I do this for other peoples' sake more than for my own.
Looking at me, people wouldn't know that I dread waking up sometimes, because I know that when I see that picture on my dresser, it'll confirm the fact that this wasn't all a dream...that my Mommy is really gone. And she isn't coming back...She won't be at my graduation. My wedding. She won't be able to spoil my children....
Who wants other people to look at them, seeing all the pain...feeling sorry, but not knowing exactly what to say because...well...they haven't been there? How do I genuinely respond to a room full of happy people, who are all excited about getting home to their moms for the holiday? Mine isn't there anymore. I'm jealous. I'm hurting. It's no one else's fault, though. So I keep it to myself...Why put a damper on everyone else's holiday cheer...just because I don't have any? Alone in my head, there are so many things to get lost in...but I won't take anyone else along for the ride. No one should feel this way...

Dirty Laundry...♥

So I'm sure we've all either seen Precious by now, or decided flat out that we're not going to watch it...right? Lol... Well I watched it today. Heavy stuff... that's all I can say. I've never done this before, but I watched it on one of those online websites (shh!) and I have to say...I'm glad I did. I had to pause and take a break multiple times. I wasn't sure what to expect, because I've never read Sapphire's Push, and I didn't read any of the reactions on blogs and things like that until after I saw the movie. So, that being said, I thought the movie was quite good. Mo'Nique played the hell out of her role...I can't even imagine what it took for her to get into character for some of those scenes....
I've heard a lot of complaints, though. It's kind of irritating, because there are people complaining who either didn't like the movie because of it's subject matter, or decided not to see the film (again, because of it's subject matter). Here's my thing: the good thing about Precious is that it's based on a novel. Didn't like the film? Maybe you should have read (or wikipedia'd) the novel first. Saved yourself some gas and a couple bucks. For those who decided not to see it because it "makes Black people look bad", all I have to say is this: If you think Precious is part of the problem, then you're part of the problem. 
It's true, abuse, incest, rape, teenage pregnancy, and all that occur in all races, but a major problem is the fact that these things are swept under the rug so much. When will it be ok and acceptable to talk about the taboos of the black community? Last year, 3.3 million Black women were sexually abused...and that's just the cases that were reported. I've heard people say that it's embarrassing that Black people always have to be seen in this type of light, but does sweeping these issues and statistics under the rug solve anything? The things that Precious' character went through are not uncommon, and as a Black woman who hasn't gone through half of that stuff, I had to walk away from the movie a few times. Imagine how many people in the theaters had actually shared some of those same experiences? Too many, I'm sure. 
What are we so afraid of? Embarrassment is a minor price to pay if it means making a change in our culture. Abuse is NOT okay. It's NOT normal. It is NOT supposed to happen to everyone. So why is it that when these things are pointed out, people act so offended? Instead of complaining, come up with some awareness and prevention ideas. Precious could easily have been your mama, auntie, sister, cousin, niece, wife, friend, etc when she was younger. Or it could be them now. Think about it. 

I'm soooo OVER it!♥

1. Taylor Swift; as far as I'm concerned, yes she has a nice voice, however most of the people voicing opinions about the Taylor/Kanye fiasco never even knew who the girl was until the fiasco took place. Including myself lol. Therefore, she wasn't on my radar then, still isn't, and won't be. SMH @ people getting famous for getting a reality check about how NOT famous they are lmao. That being said...
2. Award shows... is it just me, or are award shows not what they used to be? They all seem to be a bunch of BS and mess, wrapped in pretty lights and sparkly stuff. I'll pass.
3. The Kardashians... hopefully, no explanation is needed.
4. Club Parties...I'm probably the most non-party-going college student's not my scene. Looking at the same 45 Black people showing their asses (literally and figuratively) spending refund check money just isn't my cup of tea. Sowwy!
5. Wanna-be rappers... Come on, now. 
6. Joe Jackson... why are we giving this fool any more publicity and attention than necessary? Ugh.
7. Ray-J and his harem of hoes; Why is it always shocking when contestants on these shows turn out to be strippers, prostitutes, call girls, porn stars, all-of-the-aboves, etc? Doesn't someone on the staff get paid to check these things out? Casting directors and such? SMH.
8. Hip-hop beefs. Y'all ain't learned NOTHIN', have you? 
9. Oprah; I'm sorry your show is over. I'm sorry you have nothing to do now except sit at home on your mountains of millions. I'll shed a tear for you.
10. Chicks fighting over dudes...First off, it's tacky. Second, if the shoe were on the other foot, would he be throwing down in the street for you?? Third, the fact that he's letting you throw down in the street with some chick tells me all I need to know about his opinion of you. 
That is all (for now).

♥Dear Mall Rat...

I can't take it...
No matter how short, long, straight, curly, multicolored (wtf?!?!), or cute you think your quickweave is... It's not.
As you walk past us, in your Coogi (from head-to-toe) and your K-Swiss, with your overly-huge, tarnished hair-store earrings, the only thing we're all thinking is "Who the heck procreated, and why'd they nix the condom".... You look like you stuck your head into a furnace and then various colors melt over the final product. Please stop...Thanks in advance on behalf of society.
Love Always,
Pretty Pacino...

PS: Where did this quickweave phenomenon come from??? (I know it's not new, but gosh I was really hoping it would have went away a lot sooner)... They're not cute. At All. EVER!! Why is your mom wearing one??? She's 60! Her hair should NOT be pink and purple with a blue bang! I know she thinks it looks da bomb with her striped velour sweatsuit, but it's just wrong... on more levels than I even have time or energy to discuss.
Ugh, I'm done.

My People, My People...♥

Life has been pretty Blah for the last few days... despite the inevitable randomness that a college student & sales associate encounters lol... 
HOWEVER... my moment of amusement for the day:
I'm at work, and 3 Black girls come into the store. It's around 11 am...closer to noon maybe, so not too many people have gotten on my damn nerves come into the store thus far. Read: I'm still in a genuinely cheery mood. So these females enter, and I speak to all of them. One stares at me for a second then rolls her eyes, while the others walk around a fixture, to the opposite side of the store. Whatever. I go up to them and ask if I can help them find anything... get ignored again. *enter: wooosah...* So then all three magically find their way to our counter, behind which my manager was standing, doing some paperwork. The counter is also where we keep the stands that hold our rings. So now all three females are standing next to each other in front of the counter, and in front of the rings. Since we'd received shipment this morning, all the slots in the jewelry stand were filled. Clearly we all know what time it is... so I go over to ask the females AGAIN if I can help them, and all of a sudden two of them leave.
So now there's one thievin' ass h*e female left, still looking at the rings in the jewelry holder, and by now a FedEx delivery woman (older white lady) has entered the store, and she left her little push cart thingy in our store's doorway...she's behind the counter talking to my manager, as manager signs for something. All of a sudden, I hear the "customer" speak, and here's the conversation:
"Customer": 'What, you think somebody gon' take somethin from yo store or somethin??"
Manager: ...silence...
FedEx: *looks up*
"Customer": "Yeah, I'm talkin' to you, you watchin' yo stuff like somebody tryna take it!"
FedEx: "Yes, I'm watching my cart..."
"Customer": "Yeah I seen you watchin' my sisters when they left the store like they was gonna take your lil sh*t"
FedEx: "Well, it's kinda my job to keep up with my cart..."
"Customer": "Yeah, you betta be watchin yo stuff...{inaudible ish talking as "customer" exits the store}"

Clearly, this holiday season is off to a kick-ass start already...
PS: After "customer" leaves the store, I go over to the ring stand, just for kicks. Three of the rings are missing, out of a stand that was completely filled. Then people like this wonder why they get treated the way they do in stores. I've learned to not even let them get under my skin, because there is so much more to be irritated about than some skeezers who have to go to the mall to steal a 10-dollar rhinestone ring. 


For those who may care...
This is my baby... 
And I'm his biggest fan :-)


OK never mind, I'm feeling a little better lol.
I just had to blog about this, because it was getting on my first nerve, last nerve, and every damn nerve in between!!
Have you ever met someone who ALWAYS has some drama? Like, ALWAYS? It's so annoying...Like damn, do you ever have a happy day in your life? If so, can you start sharing those, because we're sick of hearing about how miserable you are 99.7% of the time! Go do some damn yoga or somethin...get your Russell Simmons on lol. 

Boring Day...♥

Yeah, I really don't have much to say today...
It's crazy because I usually have like 2+ posts per day (lol) but today I'm just...blah. 
I've got some randoms, though.

I'm crampy... and I know certain people have said they don't want to hear about stuff like that (lol), but it is relevant to my current state of mind! So...yeah!

I miss Christian (boyfriend) a lot... like a lot a lot. It's one of those days... long-distance lovers will know what I mean.

I'm kind of heartbroken about that little girl Shaniya being found...and the circumstances surrounding it. Sometimes I question the field I'm studying to be in, because some cases just get to you...I wonder if I'll ever be ready for that...

My Christmas list: a leopard Snuggie!
any season(s) of Criminal Minds and/or CSI: Miami on DVD... *I have a secret crush on Horatio Caine!
Some QT with my cutie...(corny, I know...but really, all I want for Christmas is him...)

Mo'Nique's show is starting to grow on me...but she's still a loud lil' something...

I hate it when birds poop on my windshield... I blame the little wannabe player who just moved into my apartment complex. Why? Because his groupie hoes female friends come over here taking up parking spaces that are for those who actually pay rent, leaving us to have to park on the side by the big tree filled with chirping poop factories! Hhmph!

I can't wait to get my degree... I know the Bachelor's is like the new diploma, but I'm just so over Undergrad right now...I feel like I'm high school on steroids. Grown ass, fast ass, simple ass kids. SMH...


OK so something has been heavy on my mind for awhile now, so what better way to deal with it than to seek advice from people who actually care about my randomness??
So I had (yes, had) this friend. She was a best friend, actually… we’ll call her B. She’s 2 years younger than me, but she has a baby and is married. Her husband (that’s so weird to say since they’re so young) is on my boyfriend’s wrestling team, and they were roommates their freshman year. So B and I became close, we’ve even made a road trip out to Iowa together to surprise the boys for Valentine’s Day, used to talk and text all day everyday, and I’ve been to her home (when she lived in her hometown, in Indiana) and all that… so yeah, we were close.
So this past summer, my boyfriend was here to spend the week of my 21st birthday with me, and during that week, B calls me and tells me she has a question but she wants to ask me when my boyfriend isn’t around. Ok…weirdness, but whatever. So some time later that week, I was out driving from work (alone) and she called and asked her question. B wanted to know if my boyfriend has ever smoked weed with her husband.
*record scratch*
Backtrack: B’s husband supposedly never drinks, smokes, or does any freakin wrong in the world. My boyfriend smokes weed. It bugs me, but that’s a whole ‘nother blog post. Anyway, a few months before B asked me this, my boyfriend had indeed told me that after a big argument between B and her husband, husband needed to get out of the house and cool off, and ended up partaking (for the first time) in the recreational activities, if you know what I mean… but boyfriend asked me to swear not to tell B, because we all knew she'd flip out. So I swore.
*back to July*
So when B asks me this, I play it off… I say “I don’t know, have you asked -boyfriend- about it?” and B says. “No, but hey I gotta go. I’ll ttyl”… we get off the phone.
I haven’t spoken to her since.
I found out later that B's husband came clean and told her about what he'd done. I mean he had to. I'd never mentioned it to anyone, my boyfriend wouldn't, and no one else in the world knew.
Now since we’re all grown here, I’ll admit that once I realized I’d been kicked to the curb, my feelings were seriously hurt. I don’t have too many real friends, so the ones I do have mean a lot to me. B was one of them. My feelings are still kinda hurt, but what I want to know is, am I wrong for not telling her the truth? Who does my loyalty belong to? My man, even though he was in the wrong for corrupting B’s husband, or B since we were supposed to be best friends? I was stuck between a rock and a hard place, and I didn’t even put myself there! I was upset because I never asked about what B’s husband and my boyfriend did that day. Boyfriend volunteered this information to me. The upsetting part was that I lost a friend and I felt guilty because yes, I had lied to her…but I was also upset that I’d been forced into that situation. (Boyfriend has been cussed out thoroughly reprimanded about this matter, many times since)
Even now, boyfriend has told me that B’s husband has smoked with him more than once (which I’m just learning) and last night they were all drinking with other members of the team after a tournament. So that’s another blow to me, because apparently B has no problem with my boyfriend still hanging out with her husband, in their house and everything…yet she can’t even speak to me long enough to tell me that she isn’t speaking to me anymore. Her husband is still doing his thing, (although I'm not sure if B knows or not), and she's fine with it. My boyfriend still hangs out at the apartment with B and her husband. She's fine with it. I'm the only one left out in the cold, and I wasn't even an eyewitness or a willing accomplice to the situation. Thoughts?

Shout Out

to former crushes who get upset with you because
1) you won't add them on Facebook,
2) you politely decline their advances (made via Facebook messages), and
3) they realize after being completely out of your life for 5 years....that you could have been the best thing that ever happened to them.

Sucka. {but part of me is smiling inside lol}

"Do Me a Favor...

...don't do me no favors, I'll Handle Mine"

{Yes, I adore Jay-Z. Do somethin'.}


Souls of Black Folk♥

I realize that there are so many complex things in our world, but one of the most interesting issues to me is race. Does it exist? Is it some aspect of the social world that we place on ourselves and each other? Is one superior to another? These are things that we’ve all wondered or faced at some point(s) in our lives, but honestly watching things that display African-Americans hating themselves and each other is kind of heartbreaking to me. I think part of my human instinct is to want to blame someone, but more importantly, how do we fix this? Will we ever be able to? The roots of this self hatred phenomenon seems so deep that there may be no point in trying to fix it. It’s flowing so rapidly through our people that there just may be no hope of ever fully getting all of our people to love themselves. It’s sad….like really sad, on a deep, deep level. At least to me.
I’ll honestly say that I don’t love everything about Black people, or the things that stereotypically describe us, but I have never wished I was of another race. I don’t feel inferior to any other race. I don’t think people are born hating themselves. We don’t just pop out of the womb hating who we are. I believe hatred is a learned behavior, whether we’re learning it from our families and those around us, or the media, or from our interactions with people around us. There’s so much to be said on the issue of self-hatred that I don’t even know where to begin…I just realize that as I become older and more educated, I see life as a bigger picture. That picture just isn’t as pretty as I’d like it to be…I just find it sad that, in a world where we could be doing so much, people get hung up on miniscule things like skin shade, hair texture, nose shape, and other superficial things that, if changed, still will not erase who we are, or the beautiful image that we were all made in. These things do not define us, and if they do, it’s because we let them. When I hear people talking about wanting to bleach their skin, or get nose jobs, or all that other foolishness, I always wonder what happened to them in their life that made them want to do it…who told you that you were “less than” and made you believe it so wholeheartedly that you’d go to such extremes to change? Changing our outsides can be so indicative of what’s going on inside… and even aesthetic changes are only a temporary fix. Because a person who genuinely hates who they are is not going to be satisfied with changing one thing. If you’re a Black woman who hates being Black, getting a nose job isn’t going to change that sense of hatred. You’re going to keep finding more and more things to change, but at the end of every day when your head hits that pillow, you’re going to still be a Black woman. Why not go the other route and embrace this? I wonder, where would we be if we lived in a world that didn't try to glorify certain standards of beauty and acceptance...If I could change one thing about the world, this would be it. I find some consolation in knowing that when I bring in a new generation (in a few years), I'll try my hardest to let my children know that they are wonderfully created in the image of something so beautiful, both internally and externally.
There are some things I just don’t think I’ll ever fully understand, but I wish that self-hating people could see what someone like me sees when I look at my people. We could be so much more, but self-hatred has bred hatred towards each other, and I have no idea when a change will come…How can we improve and love ourselves as a whole when we don’t even love ourselves enough as links in the chain?


So I was watching Judge Alex the other day (I think?) and there was a woman who, in my opinion, is CLEARLY Black suing a friend of hers for an unpaid loan. The purpose of the loan? Hydrogel booty injections, which I’ve mentioned in a prior post. The issue this time, however, isn’t those trifling injections, it’s the Black woman’s obvious self hatred! I embedded the videos of the episode, so you can judge for yourself, but I’ll make a long story short with these highlights:

1) She doesn’t hate Black people, she hates Black WOMEN (because we’re evil and hateful)
2) She isn’t a racist, though
3) Her last name was Williams, but she changed it to O’Nassis because Williams sounded “too Black”
4) When asked what race she identified with, she refused to say she was Black, mixed, or anything. She replied “I’m human”.

According to the comments on these YouTube vids, she’s also appeared on the Judge Mathis show before. There’s so much wrong with these women, I don’t even have time to discuss it all right now, since I’m on my way out to work. Just wanted to share…



It’s gon’ always be haters, that’s the way it is; Hater ninjas marry hater b*tches and have hater kids…
Kanye said it best.
I was in class the other night, conversing with two female classmates about relationships, men, etc. (I don’t even remember how we got on the subject). So anyway, after a comment was made about the birth control shot, I replied that I don’t get laid enough to go through my extreme fear of needles the trouble of getting on “the shot” lol. I mean, honestly! So the girl who initially brought up the comment was like “What you mean you don’t get laid enough?” and my response (which has become like an automated response whenever relationships are being discussed) was that my boyfriend goes to school in Iowa, so we don’t see each other too often for the time being.
This is where the animosity began to brew: her response was, “Oh, psshhhh, girl please. You might not be getting any, but he’s getting some from somewhere. Iowa?? Yeah, girl, he’s getting some.”
Now first of all, I’ve heard similar responses many times before. From family. From my friends. From my boyfriend’s friends….we’ve been hearing it ever since we were crazy enough to embark on this long-distance journey, so this classmate’s response was nothing new to my ears. However, then said classmate begins to probe and nitpick the BS reasons she KNOWS my boyfriend is getting some. (Without even knowing anything about him, by the way. All I’ve said at this point is that he attends school in Iowa.) I don’t need to detail her bullet points, because of course she gave the typical response of a person who 1) doesn’t trust men since she ain’t got one and can’t keep one has been scorned, and 2) thinks that anyone who does trust men is pretty much stupid and naïve.
As I said, I’ve dealt with this situation enough to learn that arguing with people like this won’t help matters, and neither will trying to justify my relationship. So I didn’t. I just brushed her comments off and went along with the rest of the conversation.
My only consolation is that many of the people who have said things like this to my boyfriend and I are the same people who have been in and out of numerous unsuccessful, unhealthy relationships (complete with babies, abortions, STDs, babymamadrama, cheating, theft, Jazmine Sullivan-isms, etc) while my man and I have stayed healthy, communicative, faithful, and strong. For the last three years. Straight. No breaks in between. No "we need some time apart to find ourselves" moments. None of that. We aren't perfect, and it gets hard, but we're not candidates for the Maury or Jerry Springer shows, either. Thank God.
Basically, I’ve adapted an “I can show you better than I can tell you” attitude. People are always going to try to generalize and analyze what others are doing. A person who was not completely trustful of her significant other or secure in their relationship would let these things get to them. So today, I am thankful for foundation. The kind that is built before any inklings of romance become apparent. The kind that develops a trust that lasts hundreds of miles apart, when some couples can't trust one another from 2 feet away. Without foundation, I’d be letting the cycle continue. I’d be one of those girls who lets other peoples’ input in her relationship dictate thoughts and suspicions towards her significant other, which would more than likely cause me to treat my SO like he’s done something even when there’s no proof of anything, just the judgment and analysis of other people who, quite frankly, don’t know what the f*ck they’re talking about since they are incompetent at handling a relationship of their own, much less that of someone else.


See, this is why I can't deal with YouTube lol.

My Fave♥

If ever I need something to brighten up my day...I can count on this video lol.


I think I may be addicted to spending money. I thought I had to work tonight, but I didn't, but I still ended up at the mall (where I work) anyway lol. I bought some cute stuffs... like this cute studded halter, some long lace gloves (LoVE!!!!), and this zebra halter that's clearly been waiting on me to buy it. It was the last one, and it's been in the store for like weeks, and it was my size. In my eyes, Jesus wanted me to buy it! And who am I to go against that??  I also bought these boots the other day, and I should have waited until today since it was employee appreciation weekend (50% off) for Torrid employees, but my anxious self wanted to wear my boots yesterday lol, so oh well... they're so comfy, BTW!
Anyways, I got all that stuff from my store, and afterwards I went across the way to Sephora and I bought some shadow brushes and....*drumroll* the Urban Decay Book of Shadows (vol 2) !! I'm clearly in love...I've worn glasses like my entire life (no, really) up until this past summer, so I'd never bothered to venture into the world of makeup. I didn't think anyone would notice or care about my eye makeup, even if it was hidden behind my fly ass Dolce & Gabbana frames! Sooo what better way to get it poppin' than with Urban Decay? They came highly recommended, so I picked up a set and, as mentioned, fell in love!


Ugh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just saw a promo commercial for Pretty Ricky's new album, and all I could think about was that horrible video. 

My Blonde Moment of the Day:

I didn't realize that I didn't have the 'Followers' box on my blog... dang, I feel dumb. Maybe that's why I wasn't getting any followers.
I thought it might have been because I sucked at life.
No, I'm kidding. Lol. Clearly, life is my forte!
But really, dang y'all coulda told me! Thanks, Selah (rhymes with Kayla) haha ♥


I can't stand ign'ant ass people. 
I'm sorry, but Thursday is my long day, I'm in class from about 9 AM til 9 PM. That's a whole lot of time to see a whole lot of ish that makes me wanna smack a whole lotta crap out of a whole bunch of people.
Anyway, I'm in one of my classes, and it's a lecture hall, so I sit way in the back, where there's a seat by itself. I'm slightly antisocial when it comes to classrooms full of nasty, germy, nose-picking, ear-digging, swine flu infested people. So getting to class extra early to maintain my coveted seat is well worth it.
I digress.
So while I'm chillin' in my corner, taking notes on my beloved John Coltrane♥♥♥♥♥, some hoodrat sitting in the FIRST ROW has the rude ass audacity to answer her cell phone in the MIDDLE of my teacher's lecture! Not in a whisper, or any other slick, playing-it-off type of manner. Just answers her phone. As if this TA isn't in the middle of a sentence. What?
Where do these bitches people come from?? Who raised you?
Then, as if that wasn't ign'ant enough, she gets an attitude when the teacher calls her out!
("Umm could you not answer your phone in the middle of class?")
I think the request is rather reasonable...don't you?
I mean, I could see if the circumstances were emergency-related, but the chick hung the phone up, so obviously the phone call wasn't too important.
Ugh. I can't deal with people. I was SMH so hard. Eye rolling. All lat.
Welp, that's my rant for the day.

For the Babies...♥

So I've read that Angelina Jolie is planning to adopt yet another child (this will make lucky number 7), from Syria this time. I think it's great. I'm a big fan, and I don't care how cooky people think she is! I think it's crazy, however, that people are criticizing her for it. It seems like someone always has something to say when Angelina makes an addition to the Jolie-Pitt clan, but honestly as long as she's willing and able to take in these children, what's the big problem? Do you know how many children in the world are orphans, and need a family to take care of them? Half the people who are complaining probably don't take care of their own kids, or know someone else who doesn't! So as long as there are people running around pulling 'Brenda-Got-a-Baby' scenarios, I don't have a problem with anyone stepping up and trying to help a small portion of these children!

Dude Said WHaT?♥

You know what grinds my gears?
When a girl makes status updates on Facebook about how this n*gga said such-and-such to me, and was trying to get with me, and blah blah blah, talking about how disrespectful dudes are when they approach her. Then 2 days later, the same female is updating her status talking about how old dude is taking her to the movies later that night.
First of all, if a man {term used loosely} approaches you and the first thing he comments on is your ass or other womanly parts, he’s probably not going to display too many manners in future interactions. Plus, that's probably his way of letting you know that's all he's interested in. I mean, he’s probably THINKING “Man, she got a phat ass…” but voicing it as a pick-up line shouldn’t be the desired approach. HowEVER, if that is the approach you want from a guy, stop frontin’ and making statuses about it as if you’re so offended! You knew when the words left his trifling mouth whether or not you were gonna let him hit that give him your number. So what you acting mad for? Clearly if he was out-of-pocket when he approached you, but now you’re going out with him, he didn’t offend you too much.

Everything I Am.♥

I’m not that girl.
I’m not out to be the hottest chick on campus…
I’m much more satisfied with the validation I have from within and from those who know me enough to love me.
Random, wandering eyes and hands do not make my day complete.
I’m not obsessed with the newest fashion trends.
If it’s cute, I’ll get it and incorporate it into what I already consider my ‘style’.
Emulation does not = StyLe.
I’m not about to pressure my significant other about putting a ring on it.
We’re both still developing ourselves, perfecting the two halves that will become an amazing whole when the time is right.
I’m not being naïve.
I just take marriage and love seriously.
I’m not going to rush something to maturity before nurturing it.
My love is authentic.
I’m not out to please the world, or it’s inhabitants.
Someone will always be dissatisfied with one’s progress and well-being.
Instead, I opt to enjoy who I am.
Others who choose to enjoy my personality are welcomed.
I’m not apologetic about who I am.
I’m not that girl.
You know what, though?
I’m not complaining about it!

It's Barbie, B*tch!♥

So I’m listening to music today, and Keyshia Cole’s “I Should Have Cheated” came up in my iTunes shuffle… Every time I hear that song, I think of it’s video, and the first time I saw Keyshia’s hair (at the time). You remember, the red and blond weave? I’m sure you remember.
Know what I remember? I remember all the hoodrats girl fans going out trying to emulate that same hairstyle. As much as the term “epic fail” irritates me, it must be said. EPIC FAIL! There may be mixed opinions about it, but at the time, I loved the hair on Keyshia. On lil’ Peaches & nem from around the way? Using the dollar pack of hair from the Chinese store? Not so much….
Remember Alicia Keys’ “Fallin” video? Where she’s at the piano and her hair’s all braided and fancy-like, and above each ear there’s the braids that come forward, instead of back like the rest of her braids? Yeah…she worked it. Other attempters? Not so much.
Fast forward to today. Now every girl (and some boys) with some multi-colored clothes, funny-lookin’ glasses, and big weave thinks she/he’s a Barbie doll, just because this Nicki Minaj character started the wanna-be craze. iCan’t.


This is pretty much the key to my heart right now. I'm crampy, and cold, and sleepy, and all I want to do is curl up in my bed, watch Silence of the Lambs (yes, it's my favorite movie, regardless of my mood), and wrap up in my blankey since I'm dead set on not using my heat until snow has hit the ground.
One might question why I'm eating Viennetta ice cream if I'm cold...My answer? 'Cause I wanna! Hhmph.

Spotlight: Raheem DeVaughn♥♥♥♥♥

If you don't know who this man is by now...we'll let it slide for today, because it's Tuesday.
But you really need to get to know him. Or at least his music.
Raheem DeVaughn is amazing.
That is all.

PS: I've had his song "Bulletproof" on repeat for weeks. Love it. For those of you who haven't had the pleasure, here it is...


Girl, Eat that Sandwich...♥

Today in my Women and Gender Studies class, a guest lecturer spoke to us about eating disorders, disordered eating, and self-esteem issues, in both women and men. Mainly women, though, because we’re better it’s a WGST course.
A promo for the Tri Delts' Fat Talk Free campaign stuck out to me, because it’s part of their call to end “Fat Talk” amongst women. Fat Talk is the emphasis we put on ourselves and on others about weight in everyday conversation. Some examples of Fat Talk:

“Honey, do I look FAT in this?”

“Hey, you look great. Have you lost WEIGHT?”

“I’d love to go swimming, but my suit makes me look PUDGY…”

"Ugh, if I could just LOSE 3 POUNDS, I'd be happy."

We could talk for days and days about how the media and society influences body images, especially among women. The reality is that there is no “ideal” weight that every woman needs to strive for, because we’re all made differently. Health is what we should strive for, not an unobtainable weight that we see in (usually) photoshopped magazine ads and on starved models who are “thinner than about 98% of most American women.”
The video is kinda cool. It made me think. Which is the whole point of learning, right? Enjoy!


Quirks and Me-isms.♥

I was noticing when I arrived home from my morning class that every time I get out of my car, I jiggle my keys before shutting the door. Twice.
I’m absolutely PARANOID about locking my keys my car.
Keys + Blackberry are in hand at all times when exiting my apartment.
My car.
Pretty much anywhere.
I lick my lips a lot. Like LL Cool-ish. Minus the tongue action, but with all the sexy, nonetheless. I get kinda paranoid about my lips being dry. I always have on lip gloss, vaseline, etc... but I still worry. I mean, who wants big, chapped, dry lips? Lol.
I think I make people uncomfortable sometimes when I'm listening to a lecture or some other form of monologue. Sometimes I'm focusing so much that I won't blink for a little while. Until my contacts become dry and my eyes start feeling weird. I don't do this on purpose. It just kinda happens...
That's all for now.

Today's Randomness...♥

Soo I just caught Saw VI with my bestie, and I loved it!
These writers are dope. How many other movies can successfully boast 5 sequels?? Most movies start to become whack after a trilogy is completed! I'd gladly watch a Saw movie every year for the rest of my days, if they keep bringing it like this! I still can't look at that lil Billy doll, though. Scares the crap out of me. I don't do clowns, or any variation of them. I can't believe the Jigsaw character made that thing for his baby! I'm grown and that thing gives me the heebie jeebies! Lol.

I'm so glad I did my homework before going to the movies lol.
Procrastination is a big problem for me, but one of my courses is part in-class, part online so our homework assignment every Monday is to write a blog entry lol. Needless to say, those aren't usually a problem.

I'm watching this week's episode of I Want to Work for Diddy 2 and as much as this show sucks, I have a slight addiction to reality television, so here I am. Poprah...ahh, how the airwaves have missed your curly weave and sweet persona... All I need is my fix of H*es, Strippers, and Slutpuppies For the Love of Ray J and I'm good for the night!

Happy Monday (even though it's pretty much over!)

All I Need in this Life of Sin...♥

is my
three year

Three years. Seven semesters of college. Thirty-six months. One hundred sixty-six weeks. One thousand, ninety-five days.

And I've loved every minute of it.

Things that Make Me Itch♥

1. Plies
This includes his physical appearance, his voice, and his catch phrases (i.e., "it's Pliiiiiiiiiiies Baaaaaaaaaaaby")
2. Nicki Minaj's voice
3. The old pedophile from Family Guy
4. Things with more than four legs
5. Lil' Wayne's face
6. Dancing Midgets (or Little People, if you're into all that PC stuff)
7. Shaq's lazy eye
8. Orange hair
9. Dirty sneakers
10. Jeans that are ratty and stringy at the bottom, and drag on the floor
11. Dreds on white people...I'm sorry. I just can't...
12. Velour jogging suits (not wearing them, looking at other people wearing them)
13. Old people with hair growing out of their ears
14. Feet (I don't care how smooth, pretty, or attractive you THINK they are. They're still feet. Ugh)
15. People with loose dentures
16. People with ill-fitting dentures
17. Coogi
18. Liquid leggings
19. Olives
20. Girls who wear K-swiss to the club (yes, they do that. Here. )
21. Gucci Mane and anything remotely associated with him
22. Lips that are 7 shades darker than the face they inhabit
23. White eyeliner
24. Khia. No explanation needed.
25. Pants or shorts with writing across the butt
26. People who take pics and post them on the web with their background looking a mess (i.e., no sheets on the mattress, unflushed toilet, overflowing trash bins, etc. Nasty.)


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