My Favorite Love Song. Ever. In Life.♥

I've loved this song since as long as I can remember, and I had to share since I've been ranting about it to any and everyone who will listen. I heard Mya's cover of it, which I adore. You'll definitely recognize the melody from LL Cool J's "Hey Lover" (also, one of my all-time faves)...and though I don't do award shows, I watched Ne-Yo perform this song on the BET awards this year. Love him! I don't care what anyone else says, he did this song justice in my heart! Anyway, for those who choose to listen (or who already know and love the song), hope you enjoy the song as much as I do. I wish it were one of his more popular songs, but it's a #1 hit to me, regardless!! My heart won't let me go without having this song somewhere on my blog. That's how much I adore it!!

PS: Here is a link to Mya's cover of the song, as well as LL & Boyz II Men's classic 'Hey Lover' 

My First Love...♥

On facebook, I recently added a girl who went to church with me years ago. She's about 15 or 16 I think (couldn't tell exactly because you know the young'ns don't put their birth year on their profiles). Anyway, yesterday she changed her relationship status from 'In a Relationship' to 'Engaged' to her lil' boyfriend.
At first I was irritated, as I am everytime I see someone overestimating their relationship status on there. No ring? No proposal? No wedding date? You're not engaged. No marriage license? You aren't married. Simple as that. No commitment? You aren't even in a relationship. But I digress...
Then I started thinking about the boyfriend I had during high school. We were together for my entire sophomore and junior year of high school. We were basically one of those "forever" looking couples. Clearly two years is a looonnnngggg time in high school. If I had a facebook back then, I'd have probably been one of the girls with 'Engaged to __________' on her profile lol.
We broke up after a series of unfortunate events during the summer before senior year. He ended up dropping out, becoming a weedhead I think, and...yeah. Last I heard, he'd knocked a chick up and he, said chick, and their offspring were living in his mama's house.
It's crazy, because of course no one could tell me at the time that this guy wasn't gonna be my man FOREVER lol. I don't doubt that I loved him or anything like that. I don't regret the relationship. It taught me a lot. Good and bad.  It's just crazy to me how life works out. My mom abhorred this dude. I mean she couldn't STAND  him! Somehow moms just know. Even though I didn't think it was fair of her to judge him, everything she predicted came to pass. Our demise. His demise. All that.
How often do we end up marrying our first loves? I don't know many people, especially of my generation, who have become lasting high school sweethearts. To me, that's stuff from storybooks and movies. I'd love to meet a couple like that, who's living it. Happily. None of that 'oh, we were high school sweethearts then she got pregnant so our parents made us get married and now we can't stand each other' ish. Like real, legit, long-lasting first loves.
It's crazy because I've never referred to this guy as my first love until right now, in this post. I always say 'my high school boyfriend' because he was the only relationship I had during high school. It was that serious, lol. Now I can't even say his name. I used to dwell on the memories back then. Now they're tucked away in some secure part of my LTM (long-term memory) and believe me, they aren't retrieved too often. Actually, ever. Until people who knew us as an 'Us' bring the relationship up. To this day, people from my alma mater STILL ask me about him. Five years after the fact. I haven't spoken to him since then. There was no backtracking, none of that. I'm good at the whole severing ties thing. Especially when I'm hurt. Still though, funny how life happens.
Yep, that's some mid-day depth for y'all lol...

I Don't Ask for Much...♥

The Keys to Pretty Pacino's Heart:
♥ Pink!
♥ Hello Kitty
♥ Pearls
♥ Leopard print
♥ Criminal Minds
♥ Raheem Devaughn
♥ Kisses
Silence of the Lambs & Hannibal
♥ Cats (any kind, wild ones....stray ones.)
♥ Simply Lemonade
♥ La Familia
♥ And last but definitely not least.

On the Road Again...♥

Today I went out with my best friend to set up her baby registries. She's having a little boy in March...It's still weird to me. This is the closest I've been to someone during pregnancy...I grew up in the 'hood and half the girls my age were pregnant while we were in middle school. As far as I was concerned, pregnancy was contagious and my mama wasn't raising nobody's babies! I didn't want any parts of that! So it's still kinda weird to me every time I see my bestie. I keep saying, "Oh my gosh, there's a human in there" lol.
On our way to one of the stores, we took the expressway but there must have been an accident or something up ahead because traffic was backed up. So my bestie (who was driving) decided to get off at the next exit. As we're getting off, a semi is behind us and he blows his horn at her. We're on the exit ramp, first of all, so who the F does he think he's rushing? Second of all, the traffic is literally moving between 0 and 5 mph. Again, who the F is he rushing?? So he blows again. What does my bestie do? She blows back. Over and over. And over. We got massive amounts of WTF stares. Lol. So by now we're pulling into a red light at the end of the exit ramp. Semi pulls up in the lane on our right, and clearly I flipped him off. Do you know this creep stopped his big ol' truck and hopped out (well not out, but hanging off that bar thing they hold on to to get into the truck) and points at us and yells "YOU GOT A PROBLEM????" 
My bestie and I simultaneously BUSTED out laughing at him, in his face. Loudly. Haha. You're mad, huh?
He got back in his lil' truck and rode off. All 5 feet of him. And his baggy overalls. Bwahahaha.



I feel like music should make you fall in love again everytime you hear it... Or, at least your favorite music. Some stuff just serves a specific purpose. I have music that I only have on my iPod to keep me awake in the car when I have an early class or work shift, or when I have a long drive...I have stuff on there that I strategically add just to appease others who may ride in my car with me, because I absolutely refuse to subject myself to the radio, so I feel the need to compromise. Apparently everyone can't appreciate my mix of Jay-Z, Coltrane, Paramore, Jill Scott, Backstreet Boys, etc. That's fine, though. Lol. 
With that said, I love being at home because I have the freedom of my iTunes library. I don't have to pick and choose what I listen to... I just let it play. Of late, I've had a few things in heavy rotation:

Love Jones soundtrack
All of Raheem Devaughn's albums...yes, I'm officially addicted.
Alicia's first two albums (Songs in A Minor, Diary of A. Keys)
Boyz II Men's Cooleyhighharmony
Christina Aguilera's Back to Basics
Talib Kweli's Quality
Destiny's Child's Writings on the Wall (this is always in heavy rotation, and no one can convince me that this isn't the best album Beyonce & 'nem ever did.)
Hinder's Extreme Behavior
Jay's Black Album
Ne-Yo's In My Own Words
Pink's Can't Take Me Home
Lauryn Hill's Unplugged album (phenomenal, in my opinion!)



Sooo Happy Belated Holidays! Lol...
My break has been pretty uneventful thus far. I'm kinda boring, I a sense that I'd rather be at home or in a lounuge somewhere listening to music, or writing, than out partying and clubbing. So during the holidays, I'm content staying in, vibing with family. And my iTunes library. So that's exactly what I did. Also, there was a Criminal Minds marathon on A& KNOW I was glued to the television all day lol. 
My baby brother came to town and spent the week with me. {BTW, as I typed that last sentence, I realized that it's after midnight, which means it's my baby brother's 15th birthday. I stop typing my blog and call him, and this ninja doesn't even answer the phone! SMH!} He just went home today, which means my home is back to no more stinky socks and food wrappers everywhere. Don't ask.
My hair is kinda beginning to take on a life of it's own. But I like it... It's getting big, and free, I love it. Sometimes I think about feeding it a taste of that creamy crack, but the progress my hair's made isn't worth it. So I'll keep loving my big, gorgeous curls! Lol.
I've been watching the movie Love Jones like every night's almost becoming a compulsion. The strange part is that I watch the movie as much for the music as I do for the film itself. Have you ever listened to the Love Jones Soundtrack? I love it! It's been in heavy rotation... It even has Darius & Nina's poems from the movie. Larenz Tate is still the blues in our left thighs and trying to become the funk in our right.... that man... lol. My favorite Coltrane-featured piece (In a Sentimental Mood) is also on the soundtrack, and that makes me smile with my heart.


"We are growing jaded, cynical, tired, and world-weary before our time. We are expecting less and demanding less, and those lower expectations are making us unfulfilled and taking us farther from each other." 
--Hill Harper, The Conversation


Though this Word Really Irritates Me,

'Hater' is a word that's been creeping more and more into my vocabulary lately. Why? It's becoming more and more necessary! Why do Black people seem to hate seeing each other succeed? There seems to be a lot of hating going around these days, and it's beginning to get on my nerves. This subject came up after I had a conversation with a classmate about our grades in a course we just completed. I worked damned hard to finish up strong this semester, and I didn't hesitate to let her know I'd received an A in the course, after listening to her raggedy conspiracy theory that she apparently needed to justify her final grade of C. I could just feel the haterism seeping out, and I thought it was quite funny. So much so that I laughed. This, of course, made her more pissy but oh well. I just don't understand. Personally, I was raised in a home with encouragement and reinforcement. I have no problem tooting my own horn, because I know that when it comes to my education, I value it and I work hard for it. Family loves hearing about this type of stuff lol. But let you say something to a's an entirely different story. It's always "He/She think he/she all that" or "Who he/she think he/she is??" or some variation of haterism. Like seriously, why not congratulate those around you who are progressing through life positively? If congratulating them is too much for you, just don't say anything at all! The way I see it, there are only three reasons people have to hate on others:
1) You're miserable and you want company. Get over it! Half the people you're hating on are only guilty of making better use of the same opportunities you've squandered or given up on. 
2) You're jealous. Once again, get over it. We're too old to play the 'Boo Hoo, I want what so-and-so has but I won't admit it so I'm just gonna say mean things about them' game. Grow a pair.
3) You've got too much time on your hands. In this case, maybe you need to do something to make your life better while you're sitting around bashing everyone else's. 
At this point in life, all you're accomplishing by being a hater is highlighting all the areas of your life that you aren't secure in. And insecurity doesn't look good on anyone. 

Give Me the Real...♥

So I was FB status stalking the other day, and I came across this girl's FB status that mentioned how she hates when females let men put them through so much BS in relationships, and still try to act like everything is all perfect. This made me stop and SMH, only because this girl is the EPITOME of letting men run over her. She adds her two cents to everyone else's relationship (including mine), yet anything you say about her hot mess relationship(s) is wrong, and rude, and not called for. 
What's with all this fake ish? What happened to relationships that were real, and meaningful to the people involved? I look around and it seems like so many people are hung up on presenting this picture-perfect image of what a relationship should be, that they're completely dismissing the dysfunctional actuality of the relationships they're in. I honestly try not pry in friends' relationships. I make comments when input or opinions are asked of me, but other than that I steer clear. I learned the hard way, because when my bf and I became a couple, I was that girl who always told her friends about everything pertaining to our relationship, and at times I'd dismiss my gut instincts because of the opinion of someone outside my relationship. At some point you realize that your relationship with your significant other should be just that... between you and your significant other. Just be together. Do what makes you happy as a couple. Hold each other down. If things progress and your relationship is successful, that's amazing. If it doesn't, get out and move on. But don't stay in a situation you know is unhealthy just because you don't want people to feel a certain way about YOUR relationship. Outside opinions can seriously cloud our judgement and make us see things that aren't there, or ignore things that are there. Sometimes I just want to shake people and tell them, "You deserve better". But the fact is, if people don't believe this then telling them until I'm blue in the face is not going to matter.

Get Your Life Together!!♥

First of all, I'm trying super hard to work on my tolerance of stupidity...but part of me feels like I shouldn't have to. Lol. Sometimes I feel like a lot of peoples' parents must feel when they're trying to tell their kid something valuable but are getting that 'I'm-talking-to-a-brick-wall' feeling. Some things are just stupid.
One of the seasonals working at my store is sooo obsessed with creating some picture-perfect life that it's annoying. The girl is 20 years old. She's already living with her 'fiance' (whom she's been with for a year), planning their wedding for next year, and is on the list for adopting a child. SERIOUSLY??

1) You can't even get into a freaking bar yet. Why are you doing all this?
2) Her 'fiance' doesn't seem nearly as caught up with all this as she does.
3) I don't think he's 21 yet, either. Does she not realize that by the time next year gets here, both of them may be two very different people?? I mean I'm newly 21, but I know for sure that I'm not the same person I was a year ago. This point of life is full of transitioning...
4) Why the HECK are you on the adoption list??? You're working a seasonal position, minimum wage in retail. Is this baby going to come with a rich sponsor?? SMH. 
5) If I hear her talking about her damn wedding one. more. time. 
6) I almost smacked her because she looked at me like I was crazy when she asked me how long my bf and I have been together, then looked at me crazy when I said we weren't getting married until we were both done with school and living stable lives. Umm that so wrong?? Lol. Weirdo. 

Oh, No He Didn't!! ♥

So on Saturday nights, I go to this open mic thing called The Listening, and it's held in a lounge which is right next door to a tavern/bar/White people mecca. So as I'm leaving tonight, I walk past 3 White guys standing out front smoking, and I give a little polite smile since they were looking. All of a sudden I hear the one closest to me say, "She's a big girl"..
*Pause. Let me just state that, for the record, this statement did not piss me off. I'm a size 18, and I love me, and my man loves me, and plenty of other people (some who I don't even want to love me lol) and I'm one of those girls who honestly believes she's gorgeous, and no one can tell me anything to the contrary! Lol!*
Then another one responds, "Yeah, aren't they all?"....
No, literally, I stopped in my tracks.
I turned around and, my Mama would come back to life and kill me if she knew I'd popped fly on a sidewalk full of half drunk White men on a Saturday night while walking alone but...I had to say something. I had to...
So I turn around and said, "Excuse you?" and they just looked at me with these stupid grins on their faces. So the one who called me a big girl takes a drag of nicotine and says, "Is there a problem?"... really?
So I told him, "Yeah, the problem is racist ass White people like you who need to learn how to keep your stereotypes to yourself, especially when I work in a store that sells clothes to more White women than a little bit, the majority of which are teetering on obesity while you're sitting here talking about Black women are all big!" and the guys were just looking at me all stupid. Then the guy threw his cigarette down and I just knew he was gonna try something but then he apologized. Yeah, he said "I'm sorry, ma'am, we were just f*cking around, we didn't mean anything by it"...and I was getting ready to walk away when the same racist a-hole who made the "Aren't they all?" comment decided to throw in another two cents. He asked me, "What the hell clothing store do you work in??" then he laughed. My response? "Go home and ask your fat ass mama, I'm sure she's one of our frequent shoppers."
Don't play me. I'm not the one. 

Hey, Loves!! ♥

I'm baaccckkkk!!!
Didja miss me??
Lol... but really. I have to get back into blog mode! It's been so long!
Thanks to all of you who wished me good luck on my finals last week! I appreciated it, and perhaps it worked since so far I've gotten all As and one B! You guys are like my cyber good luck charms lol! 
My next order of business is getting to Iowa to see my love before spring semester begins. I've never been on a plane before (well, I have but I was super young, and I don't remember at all, so it doesn't count to me lol) and I just looked at like a billion different websites, pricing flights and whatnot... the cheapest one I saw was about 370 bux. Say what?? I mean can I get like a college student-month before Black History Month-never gotten a traffic ticket-first time flyer discount?? Dude... I'm in college. Do you know what I could do with 370 bucks? Lol. So back to the drawing board. I just don't know if I'm up for that long azz drive! Last winter break my love had a wrestling meet at Cleveland State (my hometown) so I just met him there and we drove to Iowa together. Made kind of a road trip of it (stopped here and spent the night at my apartment, went to Chicago the next day to see his family, then finished the drive to IA). It was fun. I drove back by myself (made a pit stop and spent the night at his family's house) and it wasn't horrible but ugh... lol. IDK if I can do it again! Hell, if I hadn't done it before I wouldn't believe I'd have been able to do it! Lol. I really wanna see him though. I hate it that athletes get like no break between semesters. *sigh* Such is the life of long-distance lovers....

Happy 100! ♥

So I wanted to talk about something extra special for my 100th Post...but guess what? I'm tired. I just don't feel like I'm not lol. All at once my job decides to give me more hours (which I'm definitely not turning down), I'm irritated because I haven't seen my love since August and I'm not sure when I'll get the chance, people are getting on my damn nerves left and right (yes, more than usual), professors STILL can't seem to do their freakin' jobs correctly, and all this during finals week at school. Therefore, I'll be kinda stingy with the blogs for a little while. Just didn't want you guys to think I'd fallen off the face of the earth or something lol!

Monster Trucks!♥

On my way to class earlier, I saw this extra huge pick-up truck, with the really big tires that are like the same height as me... As if this isn't a hot enough mess, the thing had the nerve to be parked in a handicapped parking spot. I was like oooh weee, somebody's getting a ticket! The parking enforcement people on our campus do NOT PLAY, and the fine for illegally parking in a handi spot is $250...nope, nuh uh...wouldn't be me! I was actually nosy enough to walk around to the front of the car to see if they'd gotten a ticket already lmao (yes, I'm the one that does simple a** things like this lol) and when I got there, I was shocked to see that....they actually had a handicap parking permit!! WTF?? What the heck kinda handicap do you have that allows you to climb (not step, but climb) up into an 8-foot high truck everyday?? SMH!! I woulda taken a pic but I saw somebody walking up and I didn't know if it was their truck or not... I definitely looked like some kinda I just walked away lol. 

My Rant of the Day...♥

I am soooooo irritated!!!
It's colder than a b*tch outside and I came to campus to the library (which is, of course, a hot mess during the last 2 weeks of the semester) to knock a couple papers out. When I'm at home, I start off good but then I end up taking a nap. Or eating...then taking a nap. Or watching Criminal Minds. Or all of the above. Basically, I end up doing everything except writing the paper. One time I went to throw something away and ended up cleaning my entire the middle of writing a paper lol. I digress...
Anyway, I get to the library, find me a corner on the third floor, away from the skeezers who get dressed to come to the library because this is where all the Black dudes are this time of year...and away from the boys who are here looking at the skeezers... and I go on my class website...only to find that the freakin' professor hasn't even posted the instructions for the essay. UGH!!! He's such a freakin' spazz! One of the essays is due tomorrow, and the other is due next Thursday. We only have class once a week. Why is it that nothing ever gets posted when it's supposed to? I feel like a kid who's dad is always telling her he's gonna do something but then when the time comes, it's never done. SMH. Oh well... guess I'll facebook or something until I feel like getting up and going back out into the cold to get to my car. 

I'm soooo OVER it! Part II♥

A couple weeks ago, I posted a list of things that I'm utterly sick of and that I wish I could throw off the side of a steep cliff. This is a continuation of that list.

11. Twilight; True Blood; Anything else that has to do with vampires, blood sucking, fangs, etc. For those of us who made it through the Buffy/Angel era, this is kinda the epitome of overkill. We get it!
12. Twitter. Yay! We've found a way to stalk people, feed attention whores, and cram thoughts into a tiny box of limited characters... simultaneously!
13. Using the recession as a cop-out. Clearly the economic state of the nation is a hot mess right now, but if I see one more person riding around in a tricked out car, with labels from head to toe, talking about their babies don't have anything to eat because it's a recession and they had to cut back on groceries... SMH.
14. I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant. We get it. You've had an irregular period your entire life, and you sat on the toilet one day but a human fell out instead of poop. Thaaaaaaat's nice. Next!
15. Terrence and Rocsi. AKA one of the reasons I haven't watched 106th & Park in years. Why do they sound like that? Who can listen to that for an hour and a half each day?? I have to turn the channel when their commercials come on!
16. Republicans. I wish you'd just shut up. If you don't like this statement, I'll try to pretend like I care.
17. Those piercings above the corner of peoples' lips that look like shiny boogers. I don't like them. So much so that I didn't even bother to look up the technical name for them. Just know that when I look at you, my mind is picturing you sneezing, snotting, then missing a spot when you wipe it away with the side of your hand.
18. Celebrity babies. I'm sure seeing a wiggly bundle of joy is all the rage for some people...but to me a baby is a baby. I wouldn't be able to tell the difference between these babies and any other ones rolling around the 'hood in a stroller. Especially the white ones. These people get paid millions of dollars for folks bidding on pictures of their babies! Way to pimp 'em out before the afterbirth is cleaned up!
19. Sex Tapes. When will these idiots learn??? I don't care if you're in love, in lust, in the same swingers' club, married, in an open relationship, it's complicated, or whatever...these things have the potential to get leaked. The more famous you are, the higher that probability becomes. Just stop! Repeat after me: Press record.Get laid.Press play.Watch tape.Delete/Destroy.Lather.Rinse.Repeat.
20. Homewreckers. Do you know how many dudes and chicks there are in the world? Damn, find one, and sit down somewhere! There'd be a lot less AIDS cases, assaults, bleached clothes, keyed up cars, and "oops" babies if everybody would stop being greedy and sit down somewhere!

On My Mind...♥

Soo I had to ween myself from blogger for a hot sec, in order and junk like that. I just finished a research paper on genocide for my Hate Crimes class and during my research I found this quote that's been on my mind ever since: "Do they want another 6,000,000 deaths before they can be ashamed again?" --David Nzaligo, Tanzania. The quote is referring to the UN and their slow ass reluctant response to the Darfur Conflict due to the fact that there was no "genocidal intent". Apparently if the word genocide isn't absolute, the UN isn't legally obligated to intervene...isn't that some BS? I feel Mr. Nzaligo's frustration here...When hundreds of thousands of people are being killed, who the hell cares what it's called?? Fix it! No one has time for you to be playing Scrabble with words and ish! The things humans do to one another will never cease to amaze me. That paper really took a lot out of me, I had to take mad breaks during the research phase...but I got it done. Might be one of the best papers I've written since I've been in college! 
Anywho, I finally settled on a schedule for Spring '10...after about 30 readjustments lol. I'm so excited. In January I'll be taking Criminal Profiling, Human Sexuality, Clinical Psych, Research in Clinical Psych, and Issues in Crime... finally, some worthwhile stuff...I'm so sick of core classes IDK what to do! 
Gotta go, Criminal Minds is on!

Live Saturday Night♥

Sooo today was a great day! I got called into work at the last minute, but I wasn't complaining because 1) I got paid lol and 2) I got to meet and host our in-store event for Priscilla Renea!! I had so much fun, and I love that our company (Hot Topic, Inc) does 'listening parties' for great artists, who are either established or up-and-coming, For those who haven't heard of her, Priscilla Renea is a pop artist who was discovered on YouTube. 
She writes, sings, and plays the guitar (which, in my eyes, makes anyone amazing!) and on top of all that, she's adorable! She was really sweet and mellow, I hope she stays that way and doesn't become one of those diva-ish chicks, because I can tell she's on her way to becoming a bigger star than she already is! It was soo cute to see her fans lined up in the food court of our mall watching Priscilla perform, as well as in our store to get pictures and autographs. We took mad pics with her, but IDK I guess we have to wait until the photographer gets them back to us or whatever...or maybe some will pop up on her MySpace or something. If I see any floating around, I'll post. Anyway, I don't see how people in the industry do it, because she was completely patient and sweet to every single person who came through the door, and those screaming lil' girls were enough to drive a mutha crazy! They were adorable, though, excitedly talking about hanging their autographed posters in their bedrooms and their lockers at school... I got me a poster too lol :-) 
Then I got to attend The Listening, which is kind of an open mic night every Saturday for rappers, singers, and poets. It's held in an art gallery, which I love, and it's just great to go out and do something different on Saturday nights, because the club scene got really old really fast for me! It's fun to hang out with people my age who are interested in more than the latest Gucci lyric and making it rain on h*es at the club, buying bottles they know they can't afford! I digress... Anyway, excuse my hot messness in this pic, I looked way cuter earlier, but it was a long day lol. This is after to wardrobe changes and all the jewelry being removed lol. I'm still cute though! 
I should probably be working on my final paper for my Hate Crimes class... One more week of classes, 1 final, then this semester is over! Praise Him! Lol 

Game Over! ♥

This past year, my most highly anticipated reads were The Conversation by Hill Harper, and Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man by Steve Harvey. So I went out and bought them (usually I go to the library, but if I feel something is worth keeping I'll buy) and I read them. I loved them both. I've mentioned The Conversation in a prior post, back before people actually cared about my blog in October. It's a really good post, if I do say so myself. Check it out when you're done reading this one. {Yes, I frequently toot my own horn. On a healthy level, though} 
As I read both books, I thought about certain people, situations, or even memories of my own past and present that illustrated the points both men were making.
Why do we play games when it comes to the opposite sex? Men think women are the ones playing games, women think the men are playing them, so we respond by what? Playing along with them! I've always wondered, what is this unwritten set of rules that we tend to abide by? Who "un-wrote" them? I'd much rather find things out through trial and error than to abide by some rules that make me put my emotions in some box and toss them to the side. Then I read chapter 15 of The Conversation. My mouth dropped when I saw mention of the book The Rules: Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right. Seriously? That's some mess I'd neither buy nor check out from a library. When did men and women become so disconnected to the point where we feel we need manuals to get to know each other?? To me, all this says is that women are mindless, uncreative creatures who need step-by-step instructions to socialize, and that men are mindless creatures as well, who will swarm to us when they see us correctly playing a role that's supposed to represent the perfect woman. The Rules apparently mentions things such as turning down a date if it isn't made offered at least 4 days in advance, and smiling a lot during the date, but not talking a lot about yourself. First of all, what the heck else are you supposed to talk about while getting to know one another?? Duh! As far as the 4-day thing...SMH. Apparently we should be mindless, uncreative creatures who sit and look pretty while lacking spontaneity, as well... I know idiots people who still swear by the rules from the movie Two Can Play That Game! I feel like if you aren't able to do something as simple as thinking for yourself or making conversation, maybe you shouldn't be dating, bringing someone else into your hot mess of a life lol! Seeing as how we all possess...I dunno...BRAINS and whatnot, every little rule isn't going to apply to every person you meet and/or decide to date. Why place someone in a box instead of giving yourselves the space to honestly get to know one another? If you're playing a role, chances are they can tell and will probably play a role to keep up, or dismiss you altogether because, let's face it, a pretty smile is only going to get you so far. Show your personality, and let them decide if they'd like to pursue something with you! I'm sure it probably sucks monkey balls to meet someone and get bamboozled into believing their everything you've ever wanted, only to marry them and find out down the road that they were "just playin'"...
PS: In honor of this post, here's one of my all-time favorite Maxwell joints. Enjoy!

UnGRATEful B*tches...♥

The stupidity that seeps from peoples' mouths never ceases to amaze me.
OK, so I have this cousin who attends my school. She's a sophomore, though. Young and dumb. And lazy. Spoiled. All that good stuff...
So anyway, we didn't really fall out, I kinda just cut her off a month or two ago, because she's one of those people who only calls/texts/facebooks you when they need something. I don't play that. I have no children, and it's enough work taking care of myself. Why the hell would I waste my life taking care of you too? I mean, it started off small. Asking for a ride here and there, which irritates me enough as it is. But this chick had the audacity to ask me if she could borrow one of my TVs. Seriously?? My first thought: What the hell kinda crackhead azz question is that?? People ask to borrow ink pens, or flat irons (and that's pushing it)....but a TV?? So I politely told her no. I don't have a TV you can borrow. We haven't really talked since then, which quite frankly is fine with me. 
Fast forward:
I stop to see my Daddy before I left my hometown last weekend. He tells me that over Thanksgiving dinner, he was asking how everyone was doing in school and whatnot, and he asked my cousin if she'd found a job yet. Her response was that she hadn't found a job because I wasn't helping her, and she couldn't work at the mall because if she did, I wouldn't take her and pick her up from work. this point, I'm laughing. And it wasn't a "Wow, that's hilarious" was more like one of those laughs some of us get before we commence to hurting somebody's feelings, and calling them everything but a child of God. I was LiVid!
1) Why are you talking ish about me to our family, making me look like this evil ass meanie?
I know, my family knows me enough to see through her BS, but's the principle.
2) You're a damn lie!
Hell, I've done everything but fill out the freakin' applications and go on interviews for your ass! WTF?? Prime example:: I was chatting with a girl in my class who works at the student rec center, and she mentioned that they were looking to hire freshmen and sophomores who'd be able to work for a couple years, instead of having to hire and train new people each semester. Perfect for her! It's on campus (she has no car) and it's easy (all they have to do is like swipe people's ID when they enter the rec)...what more could you ask for?? 
Told her about the job opening, even told her that she could apply online! Spoke to her a few weeks later and guess what? She'd never even pursued it. 
Then you sit and tell people I'M not helping you? B*tch please. SMH. Don't even get me started on the "she won't take me and pick me up" comment. Once again, SMH...


A couple weeks ago, my significant other and I were talking about our future wedding plans. 
We're both 21, and we've been together our entire college careers thus far, and it's been going great, so naturally our plan is to marry in the future. Of course we've got a little time, because I still have another year of undergrad to complete and he has two (he's a redshirt wrestler). We haven't decided on all the timing details, yet. 
I don't personally know anyone who's been in a long-distance relationship like mine. People I know think long-distance means living 40 minutes away from one another, in different cities. Those are usually the ones who give me the "what-the-hell" face when I tell them my situation. Basically, boy is from Chicago, girl is from Ohio. Boy meets girl in Ohio, but girl dismisses boy since he's from outta state. Boy and girl become phone buddies, then best friends. Boy has fallen for girl, and girl has fallen for boy but both are afraid to tell one another. Until girl breaks down and tells boy. Shortly after, boy and girl start going steady. Boy and girl both receive full scholarships to college. Boy's college is in Iowa. Girl's college is in Ohio. Boy and girl are living happily ever after, as we speak :-)
However....being the only person in their right mind I know in a LDR, I've realized there are many decisions to be made! 
1) Where will our wedding be? 
My family is basically all in Ohio, with the exception of those in FL, NC and Tennessee. His is pretty much all in the Chi. Who's paying for all them flights??
2) Who's pastor is going to marry us??
We both come from small (but growing), intimate, familial Baptist churches. People who are massively proud of us and our individual successes. Clearly ALL the church folk are gonna wanna be there. 
3) Where are we gonna live?
I love Chicago. However, Christian's family doesn't live in the REAL Chicago lol. They live in the 'burbs. So I'm not sure if I'm in love with Chicago, or just in love with their neighborhood...we had this convo awhile ago and it ended in an argument because I'm from smack dab in the middle of the hood. I hate it. Therefore, I want to get as far away from it as I can when I'm all the way grown up (lol)  and on my own. He's grown up in the ''s kinda like those White kids who are fascinated with the hood even though their bedrooms are probably bigger than most of our backyards. Also, my granny hates to travel. I have an apartment 2 hours away from my hometown and she's been here once. Last year. When I was picking out my apartment. Lol. And she complained the entire way here and back.
4) Who pays for the wedding?
My dad's broke. His dad's cheap. It's a recession. Lol... and I'm not getting married in line at no Best Buy!
5) Should we live together before getting married?
I know older folk have this thing about "shacking up" but else do you prepare yourself to live with someone for the rest of your life??? I mean, the longest we get together is a couple of weeks during breaks from school, and we've never had a problem other than music (he's more of a Gucci/Plies/Young Money, I'm more of a Talib, Raheem, Wale...). But i still think people should live together at least while their engaged...right? 

Thoughts are welcomed, because even though this is a few years away, I've heard these things have a tendency to sneak up on ya! Plus, I know some of you reading are married, or in LDRs. I'd appreciate any feedback! 

Closer to My Dreams...♥

So I've been slippin' on my December blogging ALREADY lmao! Maybe NaBloPoMo took more out of me than I realized!
But really, I've just been busy with school and stuff. After tomorrow I have one more week of classes. Then finals. Then a break. Finally! 
I'm so excited, not because I hate school and want to get it over with...but because I get to finally take some courses I'm truly excited about next semester. Mainly, Criminal Profiling. Can you feel my excitement seeping from your screen?!?!?!?!?!? I absolutely cannot WAIT!!
I have to more semesters before I'll have earned my Bachelor's and at times I've complained but I realize that I really do love school! I love learning. I love being informed about the world around me, and I love having interaction with other people my age who actually offer educated conversation. People who've known me all my life laugh about it, because they knew I'd end up this way lol. I was the quiet little girl who no one ever complained about, because everywhere I went I had a little backpack purse with books or art pads in it! I stayed occupied! Did my own thing and loved to succeed. Some things never change, I guess.
The only thing that bothers me about school is that I learn SO much each semester that at times I question my future career goal! I'm sort of mixed up right now, but I hope that one day I'll be living off of a career that I love. I need something that combines my passion for behavior analysis, criminal profiling, victimology, animals, and children lol. It's out there...maybe I won't know what it is for sure until I find it, though!

Backhanded Compliments♥

Today, I was approached by a man who, after asking my name, attempting to obtain my phone number, and dismissing my revelation that I'm in a relationship, proceeded to tell me that I looked like a "Big ass Barbie"....
{insert b*tch slap}
No, but really...what? First of all, I don't do that whole backhanded compliment thing. Either you think I'm a fat ass (insult) or you think I'm gorgeous (compliment) or that I was dressed cute (again, compliment)... Either way, he looked like a broke ass wannabe Ken. So....that's what I addressed him as. Since I'm Big-ass Barbie, he was Broke-ass Ken... needless to say, the conversation pretty much faded from there. Lol.
I can't stand someone who either doesn't know or doesn't care enough to think about their words before opening the bottom hole in their face and letting BS flow out of it. Other statements that piss me off:
"Damn, you're fine as hell for a big girl!"
"Oooh, she's cute for a dark-skinned girl."
My personal favorite: When a guy approaches you and says all the nice things in the world...until you reject his advances. Then you're all types of fat, ugly, stuck-up b*tches and h*es! How fat, ugly, and stuck-up was I when you were asking for my digits? Creep.
Why can't someone just be attractive? Obviously if a female is aesthetically pleasing enough for you to approach her, then the insults are unnecessary! Not to mention tacky and ignorant! 

Where Are You?!♥

Does anyone remember this song? Before her milkshake started bringing all the boys to the yard, Kelis made me a lifelong fan with this song. I don't care how hot of a mess she is, this song is fire to me! She's such an underrated artist, in my opinion, and even though this was one of her singles, she has a lot of music that hasn't been heard by most people unless they've bought her albums. Anywho, I love Kelis. I think Kaleidoscope was her best album, and I wish she'd make more music like that again! 

T.G.I.A.B.F.A. (Thank Gawd it Ain't Black Friday Anymore) ♥

1) My grandma loves me SOO much that she made me my own mini Thanksgiving dinner to take back to my home, since I missed actual Thanksgiving Day here with the family. (I live in a different city, and decided it would be whack to drive to my hometown and have to go right back for my 6 AM Black Friday shift at work)
2) Speaking of Black Friday, how is it that thee brokest, complaining-est people (everything coming out of their mouths is preceeded by "It's a recession!") had the money to come to the mall and shop yesterday?? As I watched people walk around like zombies, looking like they rolled out of the pits of Hell bed and into the mall, I'm thinking Hmm, I wonder which of your bills you DIDN'T pay with that money you're up here spending...We all know how people around here love to prioritize!!
3) It was so amusing to see all these women in and out of stores, while their men were sitting in the seats in the main walkways of the mall, or even curled up asleep in the corner. No, really. Knocked out. Wish I'd taken a picture lol.
4) Why subject small children to the pandemonium of Black Friday? It's 6am. Just because your grown self is wide awake, all hyped up about some miscellaneous sales doesn't mean that your kid is. So don't be surprised when he/she/they start walking around like zombies with their eyes half closed, drooling, crying "Mommy I wanna go to sleep!"
5) I was watching the news last night and this was one of the stories. Basically, a couple who met while waiting in line for Black Fridy a few years ago decided to make a traditon out of it. So they got married. In the line. Outside Best Buy. They also plan to spend all their anniversaries in line. Cool, right?? Ol' dude never has to worry about the wrong anniversary gift, or forgetting his anniversary! Didn't even have to splurge on a crazy wedding! Shout out to the recession! Message: Forget a wedding, buy a flatscreen!

Ode to My BLB♥

My last post was pretty sad, so on a lighter note...I just realized earlier how much I love my little brother! And no, there was no big event or action that made me see this... I just woke up with him on my mind. 
He's my only sibling. Same Mommy, different dads. My Big Li'l Brother (as I affectionately call him) will be the big 15 next month, and he's grown from an adorable little boy to a handsome young teenager and...well...I'm proud of him. {if he were here, this would be the part where he told me to stop being so mushy lol}. My brother hasn't always been the most behaved, but we're working on that, because as his older sister, I feel it's my job to encourage him, and let him know what to expect once he's out in the real world. He's had to grow up faster than many kids his age...we both have. He was 13 when we lost our Mommy, and if the term "Mama's Boy" was in the dictionary, my BLB's pic would be right next to it. 

I know that 13 is a critical age, and on a certain level I know how he feels, but he's yet to let me (or anyone else) into that part of him that I know mourns our loss. As the youngest child, the only son, of a single someone new to the teenage world...I can't fully understand what's in his head. But I do know that I'm the only other person on this planet who knew what it was like to be this woman's child, and how it feels to have lost her. We inhabited the same woman's womb...we're bonded for life. So, through all the misbehaving, attitude, teenage rebellion, emotional walls, etc... I still let him know that I'm here. When I try to get in his head, he doesn't always want to go there with me...but I know he hears me when I speak to him. I know he knows that I adore him, and that I was there when he was born, and that I'll always be with him. Just like our Mommy will always be with the both of us. And whenever I have days like this, I remember how much he means to me, and how much we meant to her. And it brightens my day.
PS: The second picture was taken earlier this year at my brother's 8th grade promotion. He's about 6'5'' now. And growing. I've already got my ass-kickin' shoe stank face ready for the fast-tailed girls that have been swarming since puberty hit!


Today was just one of those days for me...
I didn't feel like doing anything, or being bothered with anyone. 
I just wanted to be lost in my own thoughts...but not for too long.
Sometimes I feel like I have to put on this smile, and appear happy regardless of how I'm really feeling.
Call me crazy, but in a way, I feel like I do this for other peoples' sake more than for my own.
Looking at me, people wouldn't know that I dread waking up sometimes, because I know that when I see that picture on my dresser, it'll confirm the fact that this wasn't all a dream...that my Mommy is really gone. And she isn't coming back...She won't be at my graduation. My wedding. She won't be able to spoil my children....
Who wants other people to look at them, seeing all the pain...feeling sorry, but not knowing exactly what to say because...well...they haven't been there? How do I genuinely respond to a room full of happy people, who are all excited about getting home to their moms for the holiday? Mine isn't there anymore. I'm jealous. I'm hurting. It's no one else's fault, though. So I keep it to myself...Why put a damper on everyone else's holiday cheer...just because I don't have any? Alone in my head, there are so many things to get lost in...but I won't take anyone else along for the ride. No one should feel this way...

Dirty Laundry...♥

So I'm sure we've all either seen Precious by now, or decided flat out that we're not going to watch it...right? Lol... Well I watched it today. Heavy stuff... that's all I can say. I've never done this before, but I watched it on one of those online websites (shh!) and I have to say...I'm glad I did. I had to pause and take a break multiple times. I wasn't sure what to expect, because I've never read Sapphire's Push, and I didn't read any of the reactions on blogs and things like that until after I saw the movie. So, that being said, I thought the movie was quite good. Mo'Nique played the hell out of her role...I can't even imagine what it took for her to get into character for some of those scenes....
I've heard a lot of complaints, though. It's kind of irritating, because there are people complaining who either didn't like the movie because of it's subject matter, or decided not to see the film (again, because of it's subject matter). Here's my thing: the good thing about Precious is that it's based on a novel. Didn't like the film? Maybe you should have read (or wikipedia'd) the novel first. Saved yourself some gas and a couple bucks. For those who decided not to see it because it "makes Black people look bad", all I have to say is this: If you think Precious is part of the problem, then you're part of the problem. 
It's true, abuse, incest, rape, teenage pregnancy, and all that occur in all races, but a major problem is the fact that these things are swept under the rug so much. When will it be ok and acceptable to talk about the taboos of the black community? Last year, 3.3 million Black women were sexually abused...and that's just the cases that were reported. I've heard people say that it's embarrassing that Black people always have to be seen in this type of light, but does sweeping these issues and statistics under the rug solve anything? The things that Precious' character went through are not uncommon, and as a Black woman who hasn't gone through half of that stuff, I had to walk away from the movie a few times. Imagine how many people in the theaters had actually shared some of those same experiences? Too many, I'm sure. 
What are we so afraid of? Embarrassment is a minor price to pay if it means making a change in our culture. Abuse is NOT okay. It's NOT normal. It is NOT supposed to happen to everyone. So why is it that when these things are pointed out, people act so offended? Instead of complaining, come up with some awareness and prevention ideas. Precious could easily have been your mama, auntie, sister, cousin, niece, wife, friend, etc when she was younger. Or it could be them now. Think about it. 

I'm soooo OVER it!♥

1. Taylor Swift; as far as I'm concerned, yes she has a nice voice, however most of the people voicing opinions about the Taylor/Kanye fiasco never even knew who the girl was until the fiasco took place. Including myself lol. Therefore, she wasn't on my radar then, still isn't, and won't be. SMH @ people getting famous for getting a reality check about how NOT famous they are lmao. That being said...
2. Award shows... is it just me, or are award shows not what they used to be? They all seem to be a bunch of BS and mess, wrapped in pretty lights and sparkly stuff. I'll pass.
3. The Kardashians... hopefully, no explanation is needed.
4. Club Parties...I'm probably the most non-party-going college student's not my scene. Looking at the same 45 Black people showing their asses (literally and figuratively) spending refund check money just isn't my cup of tea. Sowwy!
5. Wanna-be rappers... Come on, now. 
6. Joe Jackson... why are we giving this fool any more publicity and attention than necessary? Ugh.
7. Ray-J and his harem of hoes; Why is it always shocking when contestants on these shows turn out to be strippers, prostitutes, call girls, porn stars, all-of-the-aboves, etc? Doesn't someone on the staff get paid to check these things out? Casting directors and such? SMH.
8. Hip-hop beefs. Y'all ain't learned NOTHIN', have you? 
9. Oprah; I'm sorry your show is over. I'm sorry you have nothing to do now except sit at home on your mountains of millions. I'll shed a tear for you.
10. Chicks fighting over dudes...First off, it's tacky. Second, if the shoe were on the other foot, would he be throwing down in the street for you?? Third, the fact that he's letting you throw down in the street with some chick tells me all I need to know about his opinion of you. 
That is all (for now).

♥Dear Mall Rat...

I can't take it...
No matter how short, long, straight, curly, multicolored (wtf?!?!), or cute you think your quickweave is... It's not.
As you walk past us, in your Coogi (from head-to-toe) and your K-Swiss, with your overly-huge, tarnished hair-store earrings, the only thing we're all thinking is "Who the heck procreated, and why'd they nix the condom".... You look like you stuck your head into a furnace and then various colors melt over the final product. Please stop...Thanks in advance on behalf of society.
Love Always,
Pretty Pacino...

PS: Where did this quickweave phenomenon come from??? (I know it's not new, but gosh I was really hoping it would have went away a lot sooner)... They're not cute. At All. EVER!! Why is your mom wearing one??? She's 60! Her hair should NOT be pink and purple with a blue bang! I know she thinks it looks da bomb with her striped velour sweatsuit, but it's just wrong... on more levels than I even have time or energy to discuss.
Ugh, I'm done.

My People, My People...♥

Life has been pretty Blah for the last few days... despite the inevitable randomness that a college student & sales associate encounters lol... 
HOWEVER... my moment of amusement for the day:
I'm at work, and 3 Black girls come into the store. It's around 11 am...closer to noon maybe, so not too many people have gotten on my damn nerves come into the store thus far. Read: I'm still in a genuinely cheery mood. So these females enter, and I speak to all of them. One stares at me for a second then rolls her eyes, while the others walk around a fixture, to the opposite side of the store. Whatever. I go up to them and ask if I can help them find anything... get ignored again. *enter: wooosah...* So then all three magically find their way to our counter, behind which my manager was standing, doing some paperwork. The counter is also where we keep the stands that hold our rings. So now all three females are standing next to each other in front of the counter, and in front of the rings. Since we'd received shipment this morning, all the slots in the jewelry stand were filled. Clearly we all know what time it is... so I go over to ask the females AGAIN if I can help them, and all of a sudden two of them leave.
So now there's one thievin' ass h*e female left, still looking at the rings in the jewelry holder, and by now a FedEx delivery woman (older white lady) has entered the store, and she left her little push cart thingy in our store's doorway...she's behind the counter talking to my manager, as manager signs for something. All of a sudden, I hear the "customer" speak, and here's the conversation:
"Customer": 'What, you think somebody gon' take somethin from yo store or somethin??"
Manager: ...silence...
FedEx: *looks up*
"Customer": "Yeah, I'm talkin' to you, you watchin' yo stuff like somebody tryna take it!"
FedEx: "Yes, I'm watching my cart..."
"Customer": "Yeah I seen you watchin' my sisters when they left the store like they was gonna take your lil sh*t"
FedEx: "Well, it's kinda my job to keep up with my cart..."
"Customer": "Yeah, you betta be watchin yo stuff...{inaudible ish talking as "customer" exits the store}"

Clearly, this holiday season is off to a kick-ass start already...
PS: After "customer" leaves the store, I go over to the ring stand, just for kicks. Three of the rings are missing, out of a stand that was completely filled. Then people like this wonder why they get treated the way they do in stores. I've learned to not even let them get under my skin, because there is so much more to be irritated about than some skeezers who have to go to the mall to steal a 10-dollar rhinestone ring. 


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