...Without struggle, I don't believe humankind would be able to appreciate the gift of life. "Life is Beautiful. Life is a Struggle. Life is a Beautiful Struggle"♥
What a week I had...glad that another one is coming up. Fresh. Last week I was in thee gloomiest of moods, and once again thanks to all of you who gave words of encouragement on my last post. I really do appreciate it! The day didn't go so bad. I kept busy, and I tried not to let my mind wander to any dark, sad places! I completely forgot about an exam I had due on Friday in my online Clinical PSY class {the danger of online courses} so I spent literally the entire day studying. It paid off, though. Got a 94. Could've been better, but it's only the first exam. Things are looking up at work. I still want another job, though. But for the time being, I'm fine. I don't remember if I told you guys (and I'm too lazy to look) but I had an issue with the management in my store because they acted like they didn't want me taking my spring break week off to visit my boyfriend in Iowa. I haven't seen him since he was here for my birthday back in late July/early August. Soooo I had a pissy attitude. Which is NOT pretty. But everything is fine now. Didn't get my week off, but it doesn't matter because I'm going the weekend after next. Excited. YaY! We really need this Q-time. Long distance is stressful... I'm considering going out there for grad school...which is a whole 'nother post. We'll see... Speaking of the sig. other, I spent like a half hour earlier deleting like EVERYONE from my face.book page. Like a LOT of people. Only 54 people made the cut. That includes my family (blood or otherwise), my man, my best friends, and some friends that I couldn't bear to delete. Everyone else was just taking up space. I was on a rampage... Apparently one or more of my boyfriend's friends/schoolmates/teammates/whoever felt the need to run and report to him every time I do anything on FB. Doesn't matter that I'm not doing anything inappropriate at all...all I do is change my status, comment on other statuses, and talk to my BFF who lives out there in Iowa... ((Oh yeah, y'all remember this post? Well a couple months ago she called me out of the blue, and long story short, we're back to being friends again.)) But anyway, yeah so this FB thing blew me away because basically my boyfriend never gets on there, and I guess whatever someone told him made him jealous, even though he wouldn't admit it. So long story short, has anyone ever seen that episode of The Game where Melanie chops her hair off as a way of cutting off her feelings, and I guess making a fresh start? Well thats kinda what I did with the FB friends list. I feel better, too. I deleted ALL his friends. IDK who the so-called snitch is {even though 'snitch' implies that I did something wrong} but now it doesn't matter because none of them can see my page. I deleted all the other people because...well I don't talk to them anyway. And I could honestly care less about their lives. It's mostly old schoolmates. Who I didn't even talk to when we were in school together lmao. Good Riddance! x0x0♥
So I'm keeping myself busy for the day, because I don't want my mind wandering. Not much to say right now, but just keep my family and I in your prayers. Today marks the second year since I lost my mother to colon cancer, and it's still pretty fresh. My brother doesn't handle this day so well, but he's a boy so you know he doesn't want to talk about it. It's a rough day for the both of us...So just keep us in your prayers.
You are NOT a Barbie. Barbie is a set of carefully assembled plastic, created for children to play with. Although the distinction between the two is becoming obscured, People are NOT Barbie dolls.
What's this fascination with all things fake? Is there like a limit to how much fake stuff you can have simultaneously? Lol... Like, fake hair, fake nails, fake skin (makeup), fake eyes, fake lips, fake boobs, fake asses, etc.... I mean, where does it end? I blogged awhile ago about a chick who almost died from getting hydrogel injections in her butt because her boyfriend wanted it to be bigger. WTF?? Some people take it tooooooo far! I mean, personally I think that some of these things (nails, makeup, weave) are okay...in moderation. I mean, there are exceptions to everything, but I don't see too many people checkin' for a chick walking around with a caked on face, 60 inch hair, and 7 inch acrylics...If you feel like breast implants are absolutely essential to your well-being...get it how you live. Colored contacts...ehh. Whatever. But when EVERYTHING is fake...it's kind of a problem, don't you think? I don't feel like I'd wanna be the fool who dies because of some crap being injected into my face, ass, etc... x0x0
So the other day, I was told that I have "narcissistic tendencies"...to that person, I replied, "So? I don't care!" lol. A person withnarcissistic personality disorder:
Reacts to criticism with rage, shame, or humiliation
Takes advantage of other people to achieve his or her own goals
Has feelings of self-importance
Exaggerates achievements and talents
Is preoccupied with fantasies of success, power, beauty, intelligence, or ideal love
Has unreasonable expectations of favorable treatment
Requires constant attention and admiration
Disregards the feelings of others, lacks empathy
Has obsessive self-interest
Pursues mainly selfish goals
Obviously, looking at these points...hell yeah, I have narcissistic "tendencies". I fall in love with me every time I look in the mirror! What's your point? The thing that bugged me is that I was given this half-cocked opinion by a skeezer who loves to be the weepy-whiner of the bunch. "OMG, my hair is sooo ugly today !" (bitch, why'd you leave the house lookin like that, then??). "OMG, my thighs move when I run. I'm thinking about getting liposuction" {bitch, so what! Your whole leg moves when you run, you wanna get that nip-tucked off, too?!)...I could go on and on. The thing is, the girl doesn't even look bad. Dare I say, she's pretty. Anyone who knows me can tell you that when it comes to people, I can't STAND hearing someone fish for compliments and validation all day. Ugh! It's so annoying! Low self-esteem rears it's ugly head all too often. It's like, we see you! OK! So you can stop calling attention to yourself, and stop trying to act like you hate how you look, because in actuality, I'm the one who's smart enough to see right through it and recognize that you're actually quite enthralled with yourself. You just wanted everyone else to be, too. Well guess what? I called her out on it! She had the nerve to say, "I'm surprised you had time to notice anything, you're always tooting your own horn"...she had this look on her face that made me want to punch the shit out of her shake my head. I told her, "I'd rather toot my own horn than to wait my whole life for someone else to toot it for me." That's when she threw in that "narcissistic tendencies" BS... girl please. When you stop whining long enough to actually listen in class, earn a degree or two, and start practicing Psychology, then you can come throwing your half-cocked diagnosis over here. Until then, get the f*ck from 'round me! Go somewhere and get your Daddy-issues in check before you wind up knocked up in a campus bathroom talkin' about you're a virgin and didn't know you were pregnant...dummy.
I hate it when someone tries to minimize YOUR feelings. Maybe you don't care, but if that's the case keep your thoughts/comments/opinions to your damn self. Who are you to judge my situation and fix your lips to spout criticisms based on the portion of me that I ALLOW you to know??? Who gave you this right? I don't remember consenting to or asking for that shit. There are so many aspects of ourselves that we wish to keep sacred. No one need worry about them, because they belong solely to us. My most inner self doesn't want to come out. She doesn't want to be exposed to you...to your lies, your judgement, your manipulation... She just wants to be.My outer self is somewhat the same, though. I don't feel like I should have to explain every aspect of me to anyone. It's mine...can I at least be selfish about that? Even if you think you know me, the reality is that all you know is what I give you... You can come up with all the analyses isn the world, but if you don't have all the data to begin with, is your analysis really valid? I think not. After revealing any given portion of you, people seem to feel as though that revelation is their green light to probe, analyze, diagnose, etc. all the things that you're showing them. Everything isn't meant to be analyzed. If I choose to share something with you, it's because I want you to feel me...not to minimize and erase the feelings I already have about it. Feeling makes me human...if I didn't care about anything, what would I be?? x0x0♥
Sooo Thursday is pretty much always the end of my school week. I'm glad. This week particularly pissed me off in a multitude of ways. I'm like Keyshia Cole now...I just want it to be over. Have you ever just been pissed and irritated for no reason?? I'm not one for all the PMS foolishness, but somethin is going on. Either that, or everybody in the world had a secret meeting and decided to push my buttons this week. I just want to be left alone. Is that too much to ask? Not permanently. Not indefinitely. Just long enough to breathe and live and not have to worry about everyone else's BS, or listen to their drama, or have to give advice... All I asked was to be left the fuck alone. Some people can't even get that through their heads. If I'm feeling this way, common sense SHOULD tell these people not to come asking me what's wrong, or am I mad at them, or other BS questions. If I wanted to talk to you, I wouldn't specifically say, DON'T TALK to ME. Right?? Clarification at it's finest. If I knew what was wrong, I wouldn't need to get away long enough to think about it!! THis probably sounds like a bunch of meaningless rambling, and maybe it is... but writing is and has always been the only way I know to vent. Plus it's my blog. I can do what the eff I want. My week started off crappy. Here's the deal: You all know the deal with my relationship. Double long distance. Boyfriend is from Chicago. Full wrestling scholarship to U of Northern Iowa. I live in Ohio. Full ride as well. We're making the distance work as best as we can. We haven't seen each other since my birthday (July/early Aug). The plan was for me to go visit him for V-day weekend. Fail. He wrestles in Tennessee that weekend. Moved it up to the previous weekend. Fail again. Their also wrestling somewhere that weekend. So we finally settle on the second week of March. It's the only week he has off from wrestling, and it happens to be my Spring Break. Perfect, right? Go to request off at work...and I'm told that I can't. I don't want to go into it, but just know that I was more pissed than I've EVER been that day. I don't even want to let my mind go back to it. Just know that if I had another job, I'd have walked my ass out and quit that day. But alas, I'm but a broke college student... Before this even happened, I fell out with my grandmother. Why? She calls me. Asks what I'm doing. I tell her I'm looking at hotels because I'm going to Iowa for Spring Break. Her response: I know you're not driving out there are you? I tell her yes, I am. I don't do planes and even if I did, a round trip is like 400 bucks. Plus hotel? No thanks. My plan was to drive to Chicago (which is halfway) and stay the night at his parents' home, then drive the rest of the way. We've done it before. Simple plan. Works just fine. My grandmother commences to tell me that my boyfriend doesn't respect me if he lets me drive all the way out there. Never mind the fact that I'm grown, and that he doesn't let or make me do anything, or that we alternate on visits and he visited me during my birthday weeks (yes, the whole 2 weeks was my bday).... then she tells me that he doesn't have my best interests at heart, and that I shouldn't always be chasing him, because that's what makes men not respect women. Yeeeeah. That's how my week went. Let's see, I believe that was Sunday. Haven't spoken to her since. Haven't answered any calls from her, and haven't called her. I've been happily living my love life for 3 years. As far as I'm concerned, if I wanna walk to IA to see my man, whose business is it? Me telling her about the trip was just a formality, a precaution to let someone know in case of emergency what my plans were. It wasn't to ask her permission or her opinion. So as of now, she's pissed me off to the fullest extent, and me being denied my time off just adds salt to the wound, because that was the only convenient time for me to plan my trip. Now it's looking like I'll have to wait til school is out. Again. I'm not driving 10 hours to only spend a day or a weekend with him. I wouldn't have him do it either. As I've said, long-distance relationships aren't for the faint of heart. x0x0♥
Soooo a man called me at the crack of dawn earlier, waking me up from what felt like thee best sleep I'd ever partaken in in my entire life. I was LiVid!!! To make matters worse... it was a wrong number!! YEs! Calling me asking for some chick named Angel. WTF? So I politely tell him he has the wrong number, and he commences to hit on me! Talking about "Well what's your name? You sound gorgeous. I could get used to waking up to that voice..." I'm like is dude serious?? Do we still do that? Hit on random people who we've never met in life, over the phone? A hot mess. I never could get back to sleep, either. My whole day was spent in half-sleep drowsiness, all because of some jive turkey trying to play Telephone Lover. Ugh! I just hung up in his face. Ol' weirdo... x0x0♥
I'm having a great week. I almost feel like something's going to go wrong soon, because things have been going so well lol. I'm currently thinking about all the things I hate about work, however. I seriously need to find the time to seek alternative employment. One of the managers at my store (part time) got fired last week. Is it bad that that was the best day ever, to me?? I was happy. She sucks at life, death, and everything in between. She's just whack. So imagine my immense pisstivity when we received a phone call from our district manager earlier this week, saying that this chick was to be 'suspended', not terminated. Ugh!! Ruined my day! Who did you have to suck off cry and whine to in order to keep this job?? She's lazy, she's obnoxious, she doesn't dress cute (I mean, we work in the fashion industry, for God's sake!), she's irresponsible (she forgot to put the deposit into the safe when she was closing one night), and on top of all this, she's actually come to work hungover before. Seriously? Overlooking the fact that you're clearly a lush, you waddle in looking like yesterday's hot mess and smelling like last nights bar? Triflin'.. x0x0♥
Hey loves... Sorry I've been away for so long. Had to tend to some things and get prepared for spring semester! It's going great, so far. But doesn't it always seem that way during the first week? That's when everyone's all nice and rested and rejuvenated and whatnot. Lol. I do think this will be my fave semester, though. just based on the classes I'm taking this semester. Learning is a lot easier when the subject matter actually piques your interest. Anywho, school started yesterday. You know what that means. Hoodrat freshmen, icebreakers, parking lot pandemonium, and refund check ballers. SMH. I won't lie, though, I did get my refund check today lol. And I was excited. Why? Because since my store of employment has cut back on hours, I've been cut back on hours, which means some bills weren't exactly getting paid. I'm not the most responsible person when it comes to money. I'm learning, though. I grew up in a not-rich-but-pretty-spoiled-compared-to-a-lot-of-my-peers type of home...So this independent, fend-for-yourself thing is still pretty new to me. That being said, I just spent like 600+ on bills, paying things off completely so that I can start fresh. My aim is to be responsible and pay things on time, and to never let things pile up this way again. And to keep something in the bank. And to live within my means. That's been my biggest problem. It's one thing when you're living the life on Mommy and Daddy and Granny's dime, but when it's on your dime (and nickels, and pennies) the situation gets sticky. Pray for me. I'll keep y'all posted on my progress! Also, I signed up for internet today, so I can get back on track with my blogging! That's the real reason I've been away from you guys lol... I was kinda mooching off someone's wireless in my apartment complex, but now it seems to not wanna work... and I don't do this campus computer lab/library stuff unless ABSOLUTELY necessary, for reasons that we've already discussed. Besides, with two online classes, I can't afford to be foolin' with someone's unreliable internet lol. I know, silly of me to complain about someone ELSE's web service. But oh well. I'm also planning a trip to Iowa to see my Honeydip in 3 weeks. Wanted to go for Valentine's Day weekend, but he'll be out of town at a wrestling tournament, and as much as I enjoy seeing him knock the sh*t out of take down other 285 lb beasts, I don't like my visits to be interrupted. I'm killing time before my Clinical Psych class, so I'll catch up on some of you guys' blogs! I've really missed them! x0x0♥
Spring semester begins next Monday. I'm beyond ready. Lol. I think I've mentioned this a few times before, but oh well. I'm saying it again. This will be my second to last semester of my undergraduate education and I'm so ready to get out there into what I consider the Real World. I know it's a scary time with the state of the economy and whatnot, but unlike some people, I refuse to use that as a cop-out or an excuse to move back into my family's house and be unproductive. I want my own, and for the past 3 and a half years I've been gaining the skills to go out and get it! So why not be excited? I've been practically living on the phone with my Honeydip the past couple weeks. As a matter of fact, as I type this post, he's asleep snoring over my speaker phone. It's around that time when we both start getting cranky because we haven't seen each other in so long. Instead of letting it take it's toll on us, this time he decided to go the opposite direction and get back to what made us so close in the first place. Talking...about any and everything. I remember when we were just best friends, and his father told him not to spoil me by talking to me day in and day out, because then I'd expect him to do it forever lol. I mean, that's a little unrealistic. At that time, we were both in high school. Our lives have both gotten a lot busier since then. So I still love and appreciate all the time we spend talking and just growing as a couple. Our friendship is really what I adore most about our relationship. I said that to someone and she's like aww, that's so sweet...I wish my boyfriend would be like that with me... I don't think I'd accept anything less. There's such a noticeable difference when you form a friendship with someone prior to the romantic part. If you can't talk, or enjoy each other's company when you're not physically doing anything, what's the point? Anywho, right now I'm watching Don't Be a Menace blah blah whatever the rest of the title is...I'd never seen it before. It was...umm...interesting. I'm one of those people who hasn't seen half the movies that others believe the entire world has watched a billion times. I just saw Coming to America for the first time in like October. *shrug* Oh well. I'd just rather read a book than watch a movie. Sue me. x0x0♥
Hey guys! Hope everyone had a safe and Happy New Year. I actually had a nice one. Had to work NYE, but the mall closed early so I had time to drive to my hometown and go to my best friend's birthday party. Yes, she's a NYE baby. Lol... then her brother threw her an after party on Friday night. Fun times at house parties in the hood. I felt sooo out of place. But whatever. My best friend is like the one college girl out of an extrEMELY hood family. Lol. They call her the white girl of the family. That gets on my nerves...but you know how our people do. Anyway, yeah I'm definitely not the party girl. I didn't know half the music being played. Lil' Boosie sounds like Trina to me... and they were listening to somebody named Waka Flaka... I don't even have words to describe the whackness. So yeah...basically I was not hip AT ALL. But it was for my best friend. So I had fun. Got some free laundry done at Grandma's house. It's always fun to go home...however I've never been so happy to be back in my own apartment. Where I can take long showers, walk around in a t-shirt, and sleep as late as I want. My granny is a busybody, and she usually doesn't sleep past 8am. When I don't have work or school, I can sleep up til like noon. Lol. She does not approve. Anyway, now I'm just coolin. Waiting for school to resume. I'm ready. Holiday season is over. That means these lazy seasonals are headed out the door. That makes me extremely happy. They suck at life. Who applies for a seasonal position then gets mad that they have to work near holidays? Do you not realize that that's the only purpose you serve here? SMH... I'm planning something for Valentine's Day with the Honeydip. Don't know what yet, but something. Definitely haven't seen him since my birthday. My birthday was in July. Not cool... x0x0♥
I've loved this song since as long as I can remember, and I had to share since I've been ranting about it to any and everyone who will listen. I heard Mya's cover of it, which I adore. You'll definitely recognize the melody from LL Cool J's "Hey Lover" (also, one of my all-time faves)...and though I don't do award shows, I watched Ne-Yo perform this song on the BET awards this year. Love him! I don't care what anyone else says, he did this song justice in my heart! Anyway, for those who choose to listen (or who already know and love the song), hope you enjoy the song as much as I do. I wish it were one of his more popular songs, but it's a #1 hit to me, regardless!! My heart won't let me go without having this song somewhere on my blog. That's how much I adore it!!
x0x0♥
PS: Here is a link to Mya's cover of the song, as well as LL & Boyz II Men's classic 'Hey Lover' ♥
On facebook, I recently added a girl who went to church with me years ago. She's about 15 or 16 I think (couldn't tell exactly because you know the young'ns don't put their birth year on their profiles). Anyway, yesterday she changed her relationship status from 'In a Relationship' to 'Engaged' to her lil' boyfriend. At first I was irritated, as I am everytime I see someone overestimating their relationship status on there. No ring? No proposal? No wedding date? You're not engaged. No marriage license? You aren't married. Simple as that. No commitment? You aren't even in a relationship. But I digress... Then I started thinking about the boyfriend I had during high school. We were together for my entire sophomore and junior year of high school. We were basically one of those "forever" looking couples. Clearly two years is a looonnnngggg time in high school. If I had a facebook back then, I'd have probably been one of the girls with 'Engaged to __________' on her profile lol. We broke up after a series of unfortunate events during the summer before senior year. He ended up dropping out, becoming a weedhead I think, and...yeah. Last I heard, he'd knocked a chick up and he, said chick, and their offspring were living in his mama's house. It's crazy, because of course no one could tell me at the time that this guy wasn't gonna be my man FOREVER lol. I don't doubt that I loved him or anything like that. I don't regret the relationship. It taught me a lot. Good and bad. It's just crazy to me how life works out. My mom abhorred this dude. I mean she couldn't STAND him! Somehow moms just know. Even though I didn't think it was fair of her to judge him, everything she predicted came to pass. Our demise. His demise. All that. How often do we end up marrying our first loves? I don't know many people, especially of my generation, who have become lasting high school sweethearts. To me, that's stuff from storybooks and movies. I'd love to meet a couple like that, who's living it. Happily. None of that 'oh, we were high school sweethearts then she got pregnant so our parents made us get married and now we can't stand each other' ish. Like real, legit, long-lasting first loves. It's crazy because I've never referred to this guy as my first love until right now, in this post. I always say 'my high school boyfriend' because he was the only relationship I had during high school. It was that serious, lol. Now I can't even say his name. I used to dwell on the memories back then. Now they're tucked away in some secure part of my LTM (long-term memory) and believe me, they aren't retrieved too often. Actually, ever. Until people who knew us as an 'Us' bring the relationship up. To this day, people from my alma mater STILL ask me about him. Five years after the fact. I haven't spoken to him since then. There was no backtracking, none of that. I'm good at the whole severing ties thing. Especially when I'm hurt. Still though, funny how life happens. Yep, that's some mid-day depth for y'all lol... x0x0♥
Today I went out with my best friend to set up her baby registries. She's having a little boy in March...It's still weird to me. This is the closest I've been to someone during pregnancy...I grew up in the 'hood and half the girls my age were pregnant while we were in middle school. As far as I was concerned, pregnancy was contagious and my mama wasn't raising nobody's babies! I didn't want any parts of that! So it's still kinda weird to me every time I see my bestie. I keep saying, "Oh my gosh, there's a human in there" lol. On our way to one of the stores, we took the expressway but there must have been an accident or something up ahead because traffic was backed up. So my bestie (who was driving) decided to get off at the next exit. As we're getting off, a semi is behind us and he blows his horn at her. We're on the exit ramp, first of all, so who the F does he think he's rushing? Second of all, the traffic is literally moving between 0 and 5 mph. Again, who the F is he rushing?? So he blows again. What does my bestie do? She blows back. Over and over. And over. We got massive amounts of WTF stares. Lol. So by now we're pulling into a red light at the end of the exit ramp. Semi pulls up in the lane on our right, and clearly I flipped him off. Do you know this creep stopped his big ol' truck and hopped out (well not out, but hanging off that bar thing they hold on to to get into the truck) and points at us and yells "YOU GOT A PROBLEM????" .... ......... ............. My bestie and I simultaneously BUSTED out laughing at him, in his face. Loudly. Haha. You're mad, huh? He got back in his lil' truck and rode off. All 5 feet of him. And his baggy overalls. Bwahahaha.
I feel like music should make you fall in love again everytime you hear it... Or, at least your favorite music. Some stuff just serves a specific purpose. I have music that I only have on my iPod to keep me awake in the car when I have an early class or work shift, or when I have a long drive...I have stuff on there that I strategically add just to appease others who may ride in my car with me, because I absolutely refuse to subject myself to the radio, so I feel the need to compromise. Apparently everyone can't appreciate my mix of Jay-Z, Coltrane, Paramore, Jill Scott, Backstreet Boys, etc. That's fine, though. Lol. With that said, I love being at home because I have the freedom of my iTunes library. I don't have to pick and choose what I listen to... I just let it play. Of late, I've had a few things in heavy rotation:
♥Love Jones soundtrack
♥All of Raheem Devaughn's albums...yes, I'm officially addicted.
♥Alicia's first two albums (Songs in A Minor, Diary of A. Keys)
♥Boyz II Men's Cooleyhighharmony
♥Christina Aguilera's Back to Basics
♥Talib Kweli's Quality
♥Destiny's Child's Writings on the Wall (this is always in heavy rotation, and no one can convince me that this isn't the best album Beyonce & 'nem ever did.)
♥Hinder's Extreme Behavior
♥Jay's Black Album
♥Ne-Yo's In My Own Words
♥Pink's Can't Take Me Home ♥Lauryn Hill's Unplugged album (phenomenal, in my opinion!)
Sooo Happy Belated Holidays! Lol... My break has been pretty uneventful thus far. I'm kinda boring, I guess...in a sense that I'd rather be at home or in a lounuge somewhere listening to music, or writing, than out partying and clubbing. So during the holidays, I'm content staying in, vibing with family. And my iTunes library. So that's exactly what I did. Also, there was a Criminal Minds marathon on A&E...you KNOW I was glued to the television all day lol. My baby brother came to town and spent the week with me. {BTW, as I typed that last sentence, I realized that it's after midnight, which means it's my baby brother's 15th birthday. I stop typing my blog and call him, and this ninja doesn't even answer the phone! SMH!} He just went home today, which means my home is back to no more stinky socks and food wrappers everywhere. Don't ask. My hair is kinda beginning to take on a life of it's own. But I like it... It's getting big, and free, and...well...me. I love it. Sometimes I think about feeding it a taste of that creamy crack, but the progress my hair's made isn't worth it. So I'll keep loving my big, gorgeous curls! Lol. I've been watching the movie Love Jones like every night lately...it's almost becoming a compulsion. The strange part is that I watch the movie as much for the music as I do for the film itself. Have you ever listened to the Love Jones Soundtrack? I love it! It's been in heavy rotation... It even has Darius & Nina's poems from the movie. Larenz Tate is still the blues in our left thighs and trying to become the funk in our right.... that man... lol. My favorite Coltrane-featured piece (In a Sentimental Mood) is also on the soundtrack, and that makes me smile with my heart. x0x0♥
"We are growing jaded, cynical, tired, and world-weary before our time. We are expecting less and demanding less, and those lower expectations are making us unfulfilled and taking us farther from each other."
'Hater' is a word that's been creeping more and more into my vocabulary lately. Why? It's becoming more and more necessary! Why do Black people seem to hate seeing each other succeed? There seems to be a lot of hating going around these days, and it's beginning to get on my nerves. This subject came up after I had a conversation with a classmate about our grades in a course we just completed. I worked damned hard to finish up strong this semester, and I didn't hesitate to let her know I'd received an A in the course, after listening to her raggedy conspiracy theory that she apparently needed to justify her final grade of C. I could just feel the haterism seeping out, and I thought it was quite funny. So much so that I laughed. This, of course, made her more pissy but oh well. I just don't understand. Personally, I was raised in a home with encouragement and reinforcement. I have no problem tooting my own horn, because I know that when it comes to my education, I value it and I work hard for it. Family loves hearing about this type of stuff lol. But let you say something to a hater...it's an entirely different story. It's always "He/She think he/she all that" or "Who he/she think he/she is??" or some variation of haterism. Like seriously, why not congratulate those around you who are progressing through life positively? If congratulating them is too much for you, just don't say anything at all! The way I see it, there are only three reasons people have to hate on others: 1) You're miserable and you want company. Get over it! Half the people you're hating on are only guilty of making better use of the same opportunities you've squandered or given up on. 2) You're jealous. Once again, get over it. We're too old to play the 'Boo Hoo, I want what so-and-so has but I won't admit it so I'm just gonna say mean things about them' game. Grow a pair. 3) You've got too much time on your hands. In this case, maybe you need to do something to make your life better while you're sitting around bashing everyone else's. At this point in life, all you're accomplishing by being a hater is highlighting all the areas of your life that you aren't secure in. And insecurity doesn't look good on anyone. x0x0♥
Gorgeous. Fabulous. Work-in-progress. Black woman in America. Walking oxymoron. '80s baby. '90s girl. College Student. Shy yet outspoken. Aspiring criminal profiler. Homebody. Music lover. Animal lover. Rarely seen without a flower in my hair. ♥
